Undisclosed Desires
by Johnny Devlyn
Summary: Kate has a secret and when Rick finds out, it completely changes the way he sees her. Some suspension of disbelief will be necessary to enjoy the fluff. Seriously.
1. Chapter 1

Undisclosed Desires

_You trick your lovers that you're wicked and divine  
>You may be a sinner but your innocence is mine.<br>Please me; show me how it's done  
>Tease me; you are the one.<em>

- Muse

Kate sat in the dark observation booth, staring- unseeing- out at the interrogation room. No one was in there, and Kate just stared at the holey wall. She'd chosen this dark room because it was empty. There was little chance anyone would find her here. She should have known Castle would go looking, though.

Rick opened the door, peeked in, saw it was dark and went to close the door again when he noticed a flash of paleness in the room. He stepped back inside and flipped on the lights.

"Kate?" he asked, surprised.

Kate put her hand up to shield her eyes, squinting and blinking rapidly in the sudden brightness. "What's up?"

"Why are you sitting in a dark room?" he asked in lieu of a response.

"What do you want, Castle?" she asked in lieu of answering.

"Well, the guys and I were just about to head over to the Haunt for drinks. You know, to celebrate closing that Marlowe case. You should come with us."

"Thanks, Castle, but I'm not really in the mood to go out tonight. You guys have fun though."

"Are you sure? You kinda look like you could use a drink."

She gave him a 'gee thanks,' look and then told him, "I'm just going to go home and go to bed."

"What about Motorcycle Boy?" Rick asked, though it was physically painful to do so. "He could keep you company; you look like you need it."

Kate looked away, trying to hide the sadness in her eyes and sounding overly casual when she said, "Oh right, I didn't tell you; that's over."

"You broke up with Dr. Boy?" Rick asked, concerned.

Looking back at him, Kate decided to joke. "You don't have to look so delighted about it."

But Rick frowned at her and said, "Do you _see_ any delight?" _Will she never understand the way I feel about her?_ Rick wondered. Anything that caused her pain- even if it meant she was single again- was a _very bad thing_ in his mind. He only wanted her to be happy; she _deserved_ to be happy. Even if it wasn't _him_ that made her happy.

Kate didn't reply, knowing that her joke had fallen flat and not knowing what to say to fill the silence.

Finally, Rick stepped toward her, picked up one of her hands and gently began pulling. "Come on," he told her, taking charge for one of the few times in their relationship. "You're going out with us tonight."

Though she stood up when he pulled on her hand, Kate argued, "Castle, I told you, I really don't-"

"I don't care," he cut her off, leading her by the hand, out the door and through the office. "You're going with us and you're going to spend time with people who love you."

_Oh shit_, Castle gasped mentally. He hadn't meant that the way it sounded (though it was true). He'd meant it in a familial way, but how would she feel that Castle had included himself in that little slip? The way he felt about her was not at all _familial_...

"If you people cared about me, you'd let me go home," she complained, and Rick sighed in relief when she seemingly ignored his slip. And even though she was still arguing, she put her arms into her jacket when Castle held it out for her.

Ryan and Esposito approached her desk then.

"Hey, you convinced her to come along?" Ryan asked Castle, noticing the way everyone was getting ready to leave for the night.

"Nope. I'm forcing her to come along," he replied happily and then ignored Kate when she turned to glare at him. Instead, he smiled at her and watched as she flipped her hair out of the collar of her coat.

"No way could you _force_ me to do _anything_," Kate finally scoffed and then added, "I could take you, Castle."

Ryan and Esposito both chimed in with "Ooo" sounds, taunting him over Kate's threat.

"I bet she _could_ take you, Castle," Esposito added.

"I don't know," Ryan countered, defending Castle. "He's gotta be at least 50, 60 pounds heavier than her. He might have a chance if he can manage to get around all her training."

"How do you know _I_ don't have any training," Castle threw in, annoyed that the guys were now talking about him and Kate as if they weren't there.

But at his words, all three detectives just laughed. And seeing Kate smiling after the way he'd found her, Rick decided he didn't mind- _that_ much- that they were laughing at his expense.

XXXXXXXX

It was a few hours later, the foursome had set themselves up in the office Rick had converted to his own private bar/entertainment room and they were each several drinks in. Ryan and Esposito had both invited their women to join them, so Kate was having fun telling the other girls embarrassing stories about the two detectives. As payback, the two men were telling Castle stories that Kate probably wished they'd forgotten.

When Jenny yawned for probably the fifth time- followed closely by Lanie- Ryan finally stood and said goodnight. And since Ryan had broken the ice, Lanie stood as well, followed immediately by her boyfriend and they said goodnight as well.

The room quickly emptied and Kate was left alone at the table with Castle...

After an awkward silence, Kate stood as well and said, "Well, I should probably get going too-"

"No!" Rick snapped anxiously then added, "I mean, stay. You never told me why you were so upset earlier."

"I wasn't upset!" she argued heatedly, her reactions a little on the exaggerated side due to the alcohol. Not that she was _drunk_, just... overly expressive.

So Rick smirked at her and said sarcastically, "So you were sitting alone- in a darkened room- with your head in your hands, because... you _weren't_ upset? That makes sense."

Kate sighed and sat back in her seat. "Fine. I was a little upset."

"Why?" he asked blandly, hoping to mask some of the concern he felt. _Kate_ didn't need to know how much the sight- or even just the knowledge- of her pain _killed_ him.

But Kate knew his inquiry had more to do with certain things he felt for her and less to do with friendly concern. "Because I just broke up with my boyfriend, _that's_ why," she snapped.

"What'd he do?" Rick asked, totally ready to defend his partner if he found out the bastard had done anything to hurt Kate.

"He didn't do anything," Kate replied. She had no idea _why_ she was actually answering any of Castle's intrusive questions, but she really needed someone to talk to and the combination of the alcohol and Rick's concern gave her the strength (or weakened her carefully constructed defenses enough) to talk to Rick where she might not have normally.

"They why'd you break up with him? I thought you liked him?" Rick prompted. He was actually really surprised Kate was answering any of his rude questions, but as long as she was, he thought he'd push his luck as far as he could.

"I _do_ like him!" she insisted. Then sighed, reluctant to say it even as she added, "HE broke up with ME."

Rick laughed. "Yeah, right," he said between chuckles. "Tell me what really happened."

But Kate wasn't joking. "Why are you laughing?" she snapped in outrage, and to Castle's horror, tears actually welled up in her smoky green eyes.

The mirth was long gone, but Rick still couldn't believe her. "There's no way a smart man would break up with you."

"Lots of men have broken up with me, Castle," she retorted bitterly. How had she ended up having this conversation with _Rick Castle_ of all people? Because she just knew he was going to ask her the one question she really didn't want to answer. But answer she would if he asked with that concern shining in his eyes.

There was no way- in Rick's mind- that _any_ man with half a brain in his head would let the beautiful, the talented, the incredibly smart and sexy Kate Beckett get away if he could do _anything_ to prevent it. So it was with no little incredulity that he said, "What? Why would _any_ man break up with _you_?"

And there it was; _the_ question. She sighed heavily, but met his gaze defiantly. "Because after a certain amount of time, most men expect you to put out or get out."

Rick looked at her in adorable confusion. Kate could have laughed at that look if she didn't understand the gravity of the situation. She was about to reveal something to Rick she'd promised herself he'd never know about her. But here she was, letting it all out. Because deep down, she knew she could trust him. And the four shots of tequila she'd downed in the last two hours loosened her tongue enough that she was willing to tell him anything at the moment; all he'd had to do was _ask_.

Kate sighed and admitted, "I'm a virgin, Castle."

**A/N: Okay now that the surprise is out there, I'll explain: Yes, Kate is a virgin in this story, so there will be no sex- until later- but don't let that deter you; there will still be a lot of fun fluff. She explains the reason in the next chapter, and it's actually plausible if you can suspend the disbelief just a little and accept her story as she tells it. I was going to name this story "Like A Virgin," because I wanted to use a song title, but I thought that would have been **_**too**_** on the nose. Then I realized Undisclosed Desires would fit too, especially the lyrics I posted above. It's not really a song fic, I just thought the music would be a fitting addition. Plus, I just love music- Muse especially.**


	2. Chapter 2

Rick's eyes almost fell out of his head when he gaped at her in shock. "You're a _what_ now?"

Kate laughed. His reaction was priceless- she _almost_ thought she should have told him years ago, just to see that stupid expression on his face, but it was still hilarious now.

"Well," she joked, still laughing at him. "When a girl's never had sex before, she's called a virgin."

"I know what a virgin is!" Rick snapped in annoyance. "It's what my daughter's going to remain until she's 40." Rick shook his head, still incredulous, and asked, "But how is it possible that _you_ are a virgin?" Kate simply exuded sex appeal, so hearing that she was a virgin was like... discovering Romeo had been gay.

In the patient voice of someone explaining something to a confused child, Kate said, "I've never had sex before-"

"Kate!" Castle snapped reprovingly.

Laughing again, Kate knew the joke was over. Castle's patience was at an end and now it was time to explain. "I made a promise."

"To whom?" he prompted, then huffed an exasperated breath. "Just spill it, Kate. Tell me the story."

Kate sighed. She was now avoiding Castle's gaze, choosing instead to play with her last, half full glass of margarita. "I never had a serious boyfriend in high school, so my parents never really had to have "the talk" with me. Then, when I was in college, I started dating a guy they didn't really approve of. I was nineteen when my mom finally sat me down and talked to me about certain things. She told me she wanted me to wait until I was married before I gave myself to anyone. And I promised her I would- mostly just to get her off my back but also because at the time, I thought I'd be with my boyfriend forever anyway." Kate laughed bitterly then. "He actually broke up with me the night I told him about the "stupid" promise my mom had made me give. And then she was killed and of course I _had_ to honor the last promise I'd ever made to my mother. And so I have."

"Wow." Castle wasn't really capable of coming up with any other response at the moment. He was simply in awe. Kate hand kept a "stupid" promise she'd made as an impetuous teenager- one that she hadn't even intended to keep at the time- because it was what her mother had wanted for her. But it did explain a few things for him. "No wonder you wouldn't sleep with me."

Kate laughed again. _Trust Castle_, she thought, rolling her eyes. "Here I am, baring my soul, and all you can think about is the sex I'm not having with you."

"Well, _you_ brought it up!" Castle whined. Kate just smirked at him and eventually he asked pointedly, "So you've _never_..."

Kate studied him for a moment, that mysterious little half smile she was so good at on her mouth, and she finally shook her head.

But it wasn't enough information; he had to know more. "Have you ever... you know... done anything _else?_"

Her smirk grew by only millimeters and she told him, "I know how to keep a man happy." Then the smile disappeared and she sighed. "But after a while it's not enough and either they break up with me, or I have to do it."

"That's what happened with Josh?"

Kate nodded. "He said it meant I didn't love him enough, if I wasn't willing to sleep with him."

"Did you explain your reason to him?" Castle asked, confused.

"Of course I did. But we aren't anywhere _near_ ready to get married and "foreplay" just wasn't enough for him anymore."

"Well, it's a good thing you're rid of him then," Castle proclaimed.

Kate gaped at him in shock, finally stuttering, "What?"

Rick shrugged, then took a long drink of his lukewarm beer as a means of procrastinating; how much should he tell her, he wondered? How much should he reveal? "He obviously didn't love you the way you deserve to be loved."

"He loved me!" Kate protested. Then had to know, "What do you mean?"

Rick set his beer down, stopped fiddling with the bottle and met Kate's gaze. An intensity burned there that Kate rarely saw in him, though his tone was overly casual when he told her, "If he truly loved you- the way you _deserve_ to be loved- he should have been willing to wait for you. Forever even if that's how long it took."

Deciding to ignore the intensity and the seriousness behind that proclamation, Kate joked, "Right, would _you_ be willing to wait that long?"

Rick sighed and stood up, turning away from Kate to head around the bar behind them. Kate waited while he got a new beer and took a drink but it didn't appear as if he had any intention of answering her joking question. But now, it suddenly became imperative that she know.

"Castle?" She asked.

Rick turned to face her but didn't move back to his seat. He leaned against the back wall and watched her watch him. And he still didn't speak.

"Rick?" She asked again, hesitant now. "Would _you_ wait that long? ... For me?"

Castle decided now was a good time to take a swig of his beer; it gave him the chance to think- and the alcohol could only help to loosen the tight hold he kept on all the words he'd always _wanted_ to give her, but never had the courage or the opportunity to. He stared down at the cold bottle as he finally murmured, "Two and a half years. And two boyfriends. And I'm _still_ waiting." Rick finally met her eyes- tried to temper the longing he felt as he looked at her, knowing she'd see it in his gaze- and he told her, "So yes. I'd wait forever if I thought I could be with you at the end of it."

**A/N: I know I'm evil, with the cliffhangers and stuff. But I just wanted to post this one to explain the virgin situation, 'cause people were incredulous and/or curious. But see, it could work! And it almost makes sense now, the way I/she explained it.**


	3. Chapter 3

Heat colored her cheeks a becoming pink and he saw that she swallowed hard, but she gave no other outward reaction to his words. Finally, she looked away from him then stood up. Moving around her chair, she pushed it under the table and Rick wanted to kick himself. He'd said too much and now she was leaving- _Stupid!_ he berated himself. But when the chair was put away, she didn't grab her coat, choosing instead to reach for her empty drink glass. She carried it to the bar and sat at one of the tall stools facing him, and then smiled at Castle.

"I think I need another one of these," she said, holding her empty glass up before him.

"You're not leaving?" he asked in confusion. He'd been sure she was going to run. This was about the time she usually found some reason to flee; right after he'd revealed something he felt for her.

"I just told you something very private and potentially embarrassing about myself." She slammed her glass down on the bar then smirked at him. "It's _your_ turn."

Rick grinned at her then, and moved to refill her drink. When that was done, he set it in front of her, then leaned his elbows on the bar, facing her as he said, "You already know I 'borrowed' a police horse, totally naked. What could be more embarrassing than _that_?"

Kate took a sip of her drink and then shuddered; this one was a _lot_ stronger than the drinks he'd made earlier. Was Rick _trying_ to get her drunk, she wondered? _Good luck with_ that! She thought sarcastically. "You _brag_ about that, Castle. Obviously it doesn't embarrass you. So tell me something that _does_."

He sighed but told her, "My crush on you. Unrequited love is always embarrassing."

"Not embarrassing enough," she declared, choosing to ignore- for the moment- the "unrequited _love_" comment as she took another drink.

"I said your name one time when I was in bed with Gina."

Kate rolled her eyes. "That doesn't mean anything. I've thought about you a few times when I was with Josh." Then she smirked in a sexy way and added, "Luckily my mouth was otherwise occupied so I was unable to say something stupid." Kate laughed when Castle suddenly began choking and then took another deep drink of her margarita. She'd been feeling a little fuzzy all night long, but now she was positively swimming in happy feelings. She wondered what else she could say to make Castle choke like that again. And then she wondered just how drunk she really was. This conversation had passed inappropriate an hour ago and was quickly becoming scandalous.

But it was _fun_ too. Rick was an incredibly sexy, very sensual man and flirting with him- knowing that she was affecting him- was terribly fun and simply satisfying as a woman. She took a deep breath in an attempt to clear her foggy mind, but he was so close, she only smelled his cologne, which only helped to fog her mind further.

When Castle had composed himself again, Kate smiled warmly at him and he returned the grin.

"All right sweetheart, you're cut off," he said, sure now that she was drunk.

"And _you_, honey, haven't had enough," she retorted and then held out her own drink for him.

Meeting her challenging gaze, Rick took her near empty glass and quickly downed the rest.

That gaze was so... hot- so intense- Kate felt the heat of it burn her skin and if she didn't get some distance from him, she'd end up doing something stupid.

Slipping down from her stool, Kate turned and wandered over to the little media center Castle had set up at the end of the long room; there was a cozy leather couch set up with a coffee table, facing an excessively huge TV, a stereo with more buttons than an airplane cockpit and shelves stocked full of CDs and movies. Kate headed toward the stereo and hit the power button.

Soft guitar music began playing and soon, a young woman's voice sang, "When I was younger, I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind..."

Something about the girl's voice and words was so unbearably sweet that Kate closed her eyes. She thought of her own "exception" and only a second later, he had his hand on her shoulder.

Rick turned her to face him and then guided one of her hands up to rest on his shoulder. He took her free hand in one of his, holding it out beside them, and then put the other on her hip. Swaying a little as he stepped hesitantly closer to her, Castle began leading her in a slow dance.

Rick kept a respectable distance between their bodies; close enough to create tension, yet far enough that he wasn't intruding too much on her personal space. He didn't want to pressure her into something she wasn't ready for and he wanted to let her know that he'd been listening when she'd told him she was a virgin. She was saying more than just that, she was telling him that she took her relationships slow. So Rick was showing her that he could be slow, too.

But the alcohol and the sweet song were making Kate sleepy; she needed- okay, more accurately, she _wanted_- the support of Rick's body pressed against her own. So she wrapped her arm around his shoulder, moving close to him and continuing to sway with him. She pressed her cheek to his, and even felt the slight abrasion of his unshaven jaw. Kate closed her eyes and her sigh caressed his ear.

Wrapping his arm tight around her waist, Rick held her close as he began to sing along- so quietly- to the music. "I've got a tight grip on reality but I can't... let go of what's in front of me here."

"You are the only exception," Kate repeated softly, over and over as the song wound to a close.

The haunting strains of a new song began as Kate shifted her cheek against Castle's. He turned his head slowly toward her as they continued to sway, and they moved so slowly that the corner of his mouth was just touching the corner of her's when Brandon Boyd began to sing, "If the world would fall apart in a fiction worthy wind, I wouldn't change a thing now that you're here. Yeah love is a verb here in my room."

Kate almost wanted to giggle, the lyrics amusing in light of her recent revelation, but Rick's mouth was now ghosting over her own. At some point, the sway of their bodies had stopped and now they each simply stood close, brushing skin against skin, mouth against mouth. Rick tilted his head in preparation to kiss her, but he hesitated.

"I need you to tell me if you want me to stop," he eventually whispered, his breath hot on her lips.

Kate smiled and idly wondered when the man was going to finally shut up and kiss her? "I'll let you know when I'm ready for you to stop."

Though he was intensely surprised she hadn't stopped him then and there, Castle knew better than to deny a golden opportunity. He finally pressed his mouth to hers, his lips moving over her's gently, but with an intensity that spoke of years of longing. Kate's hand moved to the back of his neck, holding him in place as she increased the pressure of their kiss and touched the tip of her tongue to his lower lip.

Rick wanted to thrust his tongue into and explore the hot depths of her mouth, but it was more than he could take at the moment. He pulled away instead, attempting to catch his breath and watching Kate's lust softened face as she gazed back at him.

Kate studied him for a long moment- watched as he attempted to calm himself. The famous _Richard Castle_ was a man who often made tabloids, pictured with a myriad of different- beautiful- women. He was a man who liked women and he liked sex and he wasn't ashamed or embarrassed about that. And when he became Kate's partner, and began making offhand comments about Deep-Fried Twinkies and collections of porn, Kate had sworn she'd never tell him her secret. She was worried he'd either take it as a personal challenge, and try even harder to get into her pants, or he'd do what all her boyfriends eventually did and leave her, because she _would_ stick to her guns and wait for marriage. And honestly, she hadn't believed Rick would be able to- or even _want_ to- wait. But he had surprised her tonight and she needed his reassurance. So she asked, "Would you really wait for me?"

"Always," he said simply, and then grinned.

Though she returned the smile, she felt the need to warn him, "I won't make an exception, even for you. The first man I sleep with will be my husband."

Rick reached up to brush some of her hair away from her face and he replied with the seriousness she needed at that moment. "I don't deserve to be that man." He slid his arm around her waist again, pulling her as close as two people can be with all their clothes on, and he kissed her cheek before he added, "But you have no idea how badly I want it." Rick took a deep breath when he decided to finally just bite the bullet. He had nothing to lose- and everything to gain. It was time for him to be a man and finally tell her, "I love you, Kate."

**A/N: The two songs, though I'm sure could be considered odd choices, were "The Only Exception" by Paramore, and "Here In My Room" by Incubus. I know I skipped lyrics, but if you know the songs, it kind of helps convey how slowly they really are moving as Kate and Castle dance to them. The first song was just totally sweet and I thought it fit them, and the second one… well, it says something about "a fiction worthy wind" and well, Castle writes fiction… and then it was just ironic because the song is about "that kind of girl" which Kate totally isn't in this little fic. So yeah. Plus I just ADORE Incubus and Paramore. There are FEW bands I have practically all the albums of and those two bands are some of them. One other is Billy Idol. Oh, and I have like five Queen albums, but they were PROLIFIC for a band that was only around for like a decade and a half. I mean, Billy's been around since about the same time- he's STILL around in fact- and he doesn't have nearly as much music as Freddie put out. Okay, I'll stop now. I just love music almost as much as I love writing. Oh, and Teaching. Stopping now…**


	4. Chapter 4

Kate jerked back in surprise and stared at him with wide eyes. "You…" she began but was too startled to continue; she didn't even know _what _to say regardless. _There he goes surprising me again_, Kate mused.

There was a vulnerability in his gaze that Kate had never seen before- never _allowed _herself to see- and no little fear when he repeated, "I love you. And if you'd let me, I'd wait for you. For years if necessary." He reached up to touch her hair again, then added a little desperately now, "However long you say." His fingers were twirling a lock of her hair when he frowned and then practically begged, "Katie, say something. _Please_."

"I don't know what to say," Kate finally admitted, her voice stunned and confused.

Rick attempted to smile- failed epically- and then sighed. He dropped his hand from her hair and assured her, "You don't have to say anything."

Rick attempted to take a step away from her, but Kate immediately followed. She wrapped her arms around his neck and didn't let him go. Finally, she murmured, "That may be the sweetest thing a man has ever said to me."

Though Rick wrapped his arms around her waist once more, he kept his emotional distance this time, tried not to let her nearness touch his heart the way she always did. He almost regretted telling her that he loved her- mostly because she didn't appear to share the sentiment (at least, she hadn't said it)- but at least now she knew and Rick did feel some relief in that. He finally managed that smile and told her, "You deserve it. You deserve all those sweet words and more."

Kate sighed and Rick felt the gust of air caress his neck. He had the idea that her eyes had even closed. "Give me more sweet words, Rick," she asked him quietly. She'd never dared to hope he might finally, one day, tell her he loved her, and she wanted to hear it again and again...

Rick sighed then too; this was becoming painful. He'd give her all the sweet words she wanted- he'd give her anything, everything it was in his power to give- but she just wanted compliments, not the man who believed with his whole heart all those compliments to be true.

"You're so beautiful, Love." Rick didn't worry about inappropriate endearments right now; he'd already told her how he felt, there was no reason to keep anything back now, even if she _didn't_ love him in return. "When you smile, it lights up your entire being and it makes my heart physically ache."

He was about to say more, but Kate laughed softly and pulled away some, keeping her hands locked behind his neck as she shook her head at him. "Tell me how much you love me," she insisted with a tender smile.

Some of the weight pressing down on his chest lifted then as he wondered, _Is she saying what I hope she's saying?_ He slid his hands to hold her hips and smiled just a little, even though he impulsively decided to be brutally honest when he worked to convince her. "I watched you date other men- men who would never love the way you should be loved- because I wanted you to be happy. No matter how much I loved you, I let you- watched you- date these doofuses because they made you happy." He brushed his thumb against her cheekbone, studied her beloved face. "I'd walk away from you in an instant- no matter how much it killed me inside- if you told me you didn't love me and you never wanted to see me again. I'd do anything for you, Katie, anything to make you happy."

She realized she hadn't yet told him she loved him and that one omission was worrying him. Though she felt foolish for leaving something like that unsaid, she knew how to fix it and reassure him at the same time. She tightened her arms on his neck again and pressed a desperate kiss to his cheek. "I love you, Rick. I don't want you to leave. Now or ever." She kissed his cheek again but Rick had had enough of that.

_She loves me!_ his heart screamed in delight as he turned his head toward her sweet kiss and captured her mouth with his. His tongue invaded her mouth and Kate moaned, opening up to his exploration before dong a bit of her own.

Rick's hands on her hips began pushing, guiding her backward and then down, onto the couch. But Rick didn't stop when they were sitting. Never once relinquishing hold on her mouth, Rick guided her down, stretching out beside her on the couch. And even though he kissed her with almost desperate intensity for a long time, he surprised her- yet again. His hands behaved themselves, one wrapped around her, the other slowly exploring the contour of her waist. His hand slid from her hip up to her ribs and back down again, never once touching anything that could be considered dangerous territory. Finally, his hand travelled to her back, stroking her and pulling her upper body tightly against his.

But Kate wasn't as hesitant; her hands explored as much of his body as she could reach: his solid chest and abdomen, his back and even lower, down over his rear end. Rick groaned into her mouth when she squeezed him and he finally had to pull away.

He struggled to control his ragged breathing, resting his forehead against hers. Eventually he managed to plead, "I'm not used to denying myself what I want, so... _please_ show some mercy on me."

Kate smiled, but removed her hand from his butt and wrapped her arm around his waist instead. She _had_ to tease him though; he was just _too_ easy. "You want me?" she asked coquettishly, looking at him through her lashes.

Rick simply shook his head at her, not as a denial, but in disbelief that she could even ask him that inane question. With a hand on her hip, he pulled her body flush to his and there was no hiding his excitement when he pressed it against her like that. "Does _that_ answer your question?"

Kate smiled in a sexy way and nodded. He was obviously highly aroused but he still hadn't tried anything more serious then kissing. The way he had practically pushed her down onto the couch, she had assumed- _hoped?_- that she'd be fending off roaming hands. But Rick had been a perfect gentleman, keeping his touch to the relatively safe areas of her body. Rick didn't need to know that even that touch- on her hip or even her back- awakened a sensual awareness in her of all the places she _wished_ he'd touch. The only wicked thing he did to her was invade her mouth in an expert way and make her long for more.

But Rick moved her hips away from him again, giving them both space and then kissed her sweetly. When he pulled away this time- much too soon for Kate's satisfaction- in a lust-roughened voice, he said, "Maybe we should watch a movie?"

"Sure," she replied breathlessly. That last tender kiss had stolen her breath even more effectively than all of his invading, possessing kisses had.

Rick smiled at her in a way that told her he knew exactly what he was doing to her. He leaned over her then, invading her personal space and pressing her upper body back onto the couch. He just hovered over her for a moment and then leaned closer... And then reached across her to grab the remote off the coffee table.

Rick pulled away again, holding his intended objective, but Kate prevented him from going; her hands moved to his shoulders and pulled him back to her. She kissed him and loved the way it felt to have him hovering over her, kissing her, and almost wished she could do more with him. But it was too soon, even if she did intend to sleep with him eventually. So she pushed him away again and let him move back to lay on his side again.

Kate turned over and fitted her body back against his, settling in as he turned on the TV and relaxed to watch "The Princess Bride" together, Rick quoting half the dialogue softly in her ear.

"Alexis loves his movie," he eventually explained. Then after a short pause, he added, "And maybe I do too."

Kate smiled but didn't reply; it had always been one of her favorite movies too, she was just too sleepy to quote the dialogue back to Rick. And only an hour into the movie, Kate drifted to sleep, content in the warm circle of Rick's arms.

**A/N: Okay, so even though I haven't posted much during the semester- because I was insanely busy by the way- doesn't mean that I stopped writing. I always have at least one notebook with me- usually two or three- that I can write in when I do have a free moment. So, a lot of these random little stories I've been posting this week have been catching up with everything I already had. That's why they were coming out so fast, all I had to do what type them and post. But now, this story is caught up to where I've written it, so the next chapters may take a little longer to come out because I still have to write it and type it and plan it and… you get the idea. I will not forget about this one- it's so incredibly sweet to write and there are so many fun ways to tease the characters (and the readers *evil grin*)- but it may just take a little longer than… you know… a DAY. :-D**


	5. Chapter 5

Rick woke, warm and with a sense of contentment more intense than he'd ever experienced in his life... Well, holding his new born baby daughter had filled him with a similar feeling of happiness, but Kate's warmth and her scent wrapped around him and added that bit of tension that only a woman could bring.

He'd left the radio on all night, low enough not to disturb their sleep but enough to provide some white noise. And the song that came on now would have made him smile for its appropriateness, but he was still too much asleep.

"To see you when I wake up is a gift I didn't think could be real. To know that you feel the same is a threefold utopian dream. You do something to me that I can't explain."

Sometime during the night, she'd turned to face him and Kate's head was now pillowed on his chest, her arm draped across his ribs. One of her legs was bent, her thigh heavy on top of his. For a moment, he let his fantasies take him away...

Rick's barely conscious mind showed him just how nice it could be to wake Kate with a kiss, to wrap a hand behind her knee and pull it up, to shift his body toward hers and press between her thighs. Oh, and how much better it could be if they were totally naked...

_What the hell are you doing with her?_ Rick's conscience butted into his lovely fantasies and demanded of him. _You can't go twenty four hours without picturing her naked. How are you going to go years without touching her?_

Rick sighed sadly. It would have been so nice touching her...

Rick's conscience laughed at him. _She's a_ virgin, Conscience reminded him. _You've never gone longer than a few months without sex. How are you going to be with he- to date her- without trying to molest her?_

_I'll give up sex!_ Rick retorted impulsively.

And Conscience just laughed and laughed. Giving Rick the time to picture it; years of dating her, being with her and never touching her. _You know what will happen_, Conscience warned. _You're either going to push her too hard and she's going to dump you, or _you _are going to get too frustrated and you're going to leave_ her. _Or..._

Rick tried not to think it, but his conscience forced him to. He would never want to hurt Kate, but would he one day grow so frustrated that he'd betray her with someone else, someone who was willing to scratch his itch? His own heart broke when he contemplated the consequences of ever cheating on Kate. It would tear her heart to pieces, not to mention what he'd do to his own heart.

But the heartbreak decided him. He would _never_ cause her- or himself- the pain of betrayal. For the past year now, he hardly even saw other women because of Kate and now, to date her, he had the feeling she'd ruin him for anyone else anyway. Any sex he contemplated without her seemed meaningless and empty and somehow that didn't appeal to him anymore, though it seemed like that was what he'd once lived for.

So, should he just not start something with her he was unsure he could even finish properly- _her_ way? Should he wake her now and tell her maybe they should just be friends?

_No!_ his heart cried, even as his conscience told him that decision was probably the wisest.

But to continue the way they had been, to just be her partner, wasn't enough for him anymore, not after that incredible kiss. Or waking up beside her, Kate's sleepy body draped over him. He didn't think he could bear to watch her date someone else again, someone new, who wouldn't understand her archaic desire to save herself for marriage. But Rick knew her, he understood her reasons, he could even respect them. And his heart broke- again- to think of life without her, to see her with someone else. And it was _so_ easy to see himself with her, even if it took years before Kate was ready to marry him. He could see the whole sappy scene: Katie in a white dress, walking toward him on her father's arm. Pregnant Kate who would be so much fun to take care of and then tease her for it, knowing how much she hated relying on others. He wanted that life with her more than anything. So...

Rick sighed, knowing it would be difficult, but also knowing that Kate Beckett was worth the effort. If the end result was that one day he may have the good fortune to call Kate _his_ then he'd follow her rules. He'd deny his body what it so eagerly wanted from her and he'd work to convince Kate that he truly loved her. So despite the sigh, his heart felt lighter than he'd ever been.

Now to wake her and find out if _she_ even wanted to try dating _him_. There was still the possibility she'd say no... hmmm...

She _had_ said she loved him, but that didn't mean she'd want to risk her heart on him. She hadn't in the past...

Rick was contemplating the new scenarios his worried writers mind had called up and he wasn't even aware that he'd begun playing with her hair, combing his fingers through the long tresses slowly and waking her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate was in that stage between sleep and consciousness where she was still dreaming but could continue the dream the way her conscious mind wished. She was dreaming that she was sprawled out on top of Rick Castle's body and he was gently pulling his fingers through her hair. Her conscious mind decided they were naked and when that was determined, well of course he was now pushing her onto her back, kissing her, pressing his body between her thighs...

But the feel of hands on her hair kept coming back, distracting her from her rather pleasant dreams and pulling her closer and closer to unwelcome consciousness.

With a jolt, Kate realized those hands were real, she was entirely too warm _not_ to be snuggled close to _someone_, her pillow was rather hard- though not totally uncomfortable- and she had no idea who it might be. She quickly noted the hangover headache and desperately wondered _how_ drunk she'd gotten yesterday. Hmm... not _too_ drunk apparently; she was still fully clothed, which was a relief.

She searched back through her memory of yesterday and relived the breakup scene with Josh.

"Kate, I love you, but if you can't believe that someday we _will_ get married, then you don't trust me. And if you don't trust me, how could you possibly love me?"

Kate had wanted to roll her eyes then, but she was too practiced at this particular conversation to betray any emotion. How many times had she heard _that_ argument- or some derivation? One might think that she'd be used to it by now, but it still stung. But somehow, _this_ morning, she couldn't seem to feel the pain of rejection. So, if she'd broken up with Josh, whose big, solid, warm chest was she currently curled up on? And who was running his fingers through her hair as if he meant to spend a lifetime simply trying to memorize the silky texture.

Kate remembered then; she'd been hiding and- sensing her stress probably- Castle had gone looking. He'd "forced" her to join him and the guys- and later their girls- to hang out at the Olde Haunt. She'd had a _lot_ of fun. There'd been drinking- which explained they headache... The guys had left with their girls and she'd been left alone with Rick. She'd told him...

Kate gasped and her eyes snapped open though the rest of her didn't budge. She'd told Castle a _lot_ last night. And then he'd kissed her and they'd ended up on the couch where she'd _wanted_ to tear his clothes off of him, but _Castle_ had stopped their... "activities" and suggested a movie, during which she'd fallen asleep.

Her eyes blinking rapidly as she remembered, Kate finally looked up at Rick's face.

"Good morning," Rick said quietly and he smiled, though Kate could see the worry in his eyes. Rather formally, he added, "How are you doing?"

"My head is killing me," she admitted and then she returned his smile. "And despite the surprising hardness of my pillow-" to clarify, she poked her finger into his unexpectedly solid chest- "I'm doing very well, thank you. And you?"

Rick was smiling happily because of her compliment and... _is he blushing?_ Kate noted in wonder. But with his usual self confidence- _and_ a slightly pink face- Rick told her, "I woke this morning to your very tempting body draped over mine. Now, regardless of whether or not I get to touch it, I'd have to say that I'm doing _fantastic_."

It was Kate's turn to blush when she smiled from his compliment. To hide her pink face, she put her head back down on Rick's chest.

Soon, underwire began poking her, the waistband of her pants cut into her side and Kate was shifting in discomfort.

"Ugh," she complained. "I _hate_ sleeping in work clothes."

With a huge grin in his voice, Rick volunteered, "I could help you remove them if that would make you more comfortable?" And when Kate lifted her head to glare at him, Rick smiled at her innocently and added, "Or you could remove them and I'll just watch."

To his surprise, Kate smiled that reluctant, charmed-by-Castle smile that she usually hid from him. Then she kissed his cheek and said, "Thank you."

"For what?" Rick asked in confusion.

"For treating me the same even though you know... my secret." There was genuine gratitude in her voice when she explained and Rick smiled.

"Regardless of what you've done, or haven't done as it were, you're still the sexiest thing I've ever seen. Of course I'm going to continue teasing you."

Kate laughed, shifted her body against his to get more comfortable. "Fair enough," she replied.

Rick tried- _so_ hard- not to let the movement of her body against his affect him, but her warmth, her scent, her sleepy body, not to mention the fact that it was _morning_... it wasn't working- simply ignoring her body pressed to his- so Rick turned his mind to the only thing that _could_ distract him at the moment.

With one hand playing with her hair again, the other moving to her shoulder, Rick took a deep breath and asked, "What happens now?"

Kate sighed in pleasure of the fingers running through her hair and smiled. "Well, eventually we get up and I don't know about you, but breakfast would be welcome. Oh, and water. Lots of water. And Advil."

Rick smiled, but said "That's not what I meant."

Kate sighed. "I know."

"Kate," Rick said, and then hesitated. Honestly, he wanted some signal from her, a single word, that _she_ wanted to be with him, to try dating, but she'd already put herself out there last night by telling him highly personal secrets. Now it was his turn. So he continued, his voice low, "I don't want to go back to the way things were. I don't want to pretend nothing was said, that I didn't tell you that I love you. I want to try this. I want to try being with you and not touching you until you tell me you're ready."

"Oh, you'll know when I'm ready, Ricky," Kate assured him in a droll way.

"How?"

Kate smiled. "I'll be wearing two pretty little rings on my left ring finger."

"Point taken," Rick said, chuckling. "But you haven't told me..."

Kate sighed in a reluctant way. "I want to try this too," she admitted, though she sounded hesitant about it. "But do we really want to set ourselves up for disappointment this way?"

"You think-"

"Rick, I know your lifestyle," Kate argued desperately, knowing she'd let him convince her if he pushed. But part of her didn't want to be convinced because she was afraid of the pain he'd cause when he left her. It would be different with him; it would actually hurt her when he left, because she truly loved him. "You're very open about your sex life and your collections of porn, and that's fine. For _you_. But I-"

"Kate, you should know better than to listen to every teasing thing I say," Rick insisted. "In the almost three years I've known you, I've slept with _three_ women. And that 'collection of porn' consists of two DVDs, four magazines, and some pictures from fans. None of which I've even glanced at in years."

"Do you really think you'll be able to go without sex for a year? Or two or three? However long it takes for our relationship to progress to the stage we'd even be _ready_ to talk about marriage?"

Rick sighed. "It'll probably be the most difficult thing I've ever done; I've never made a secret about how attractive I find you. But I've never felt about anyone the way I feel about you." Rick groaned. "It's a good thing I don't write romance novels; that was horribly cliché."

"But it was sweet too. And if you actually mean it...?" she trailed off in question.

So Rick assured, "I do."

"Then yes. We'll try this."

Kate didn't look up to his face again, but she knew he was smiling. And a second later, his arms closed tightly around her to clutch her excitedly against his chest.

Rick pressed a kiss to the top of her head, holding her close. "I love you, Katie."

"I love you too," she replied happily. She still had some doubts, but then, who didn't? She would give this a chance, give Castle- and herself- the opportunity to build a relationship and see how their lives together may work.

**A/N: This one was too thought heavy, I know, but kinda felt necessary… I don't know. Hope it was readable, at least.**


	6. Chapter 6

Kate and Rick were making their way down her street, holding hands. Rick was escorting her from the parked car, making sure she got inside safely, which made Kate want to laugh. Regardless of her job training or the fact that if something _were_ to happen, she could take care of herself- and Castle- he still insisted upon walking Kate to her front door after each of their dates. And the closer they drew to her building, the faster her heart beat. Because every night- after he'd walked her to her door- Rick kissed her.

Every kiss was different, but the effect on her was always the same. Some nights he'd be forceful, pushing her against the wall of the alcove outside her door and invading her mouth as he attempted to devour her. Some nights he'd begin with slow, sweet kisses that made her melt into him and gradually escalate until they were both panting. No matter how they started, Kate's body warmed immediately each time they kissed. Her heart pounded and even though she'd had a lifetime of denying her body's baser urges, every kiss with Rick made her burn to feel his naked skin on hers, to pull his big body on top of her and never let him go.

Even though she knew better, every kiss prompted her to invite him upstairs to continue their attempts to consume each other. But every night, Rick found some excuse to say, "No." Instead, he'd simply continue kissing her for long moments- regardless of their rather public location in front of her building- and then he'd eventually leave.

The only times Rick ever kissed her, it seemed, they were in public. Actually, the more intense the kiss, the more public their location usually was. Kate was afraid she was becoming an exhibitionist; just the sight of a crowded room or busy park- the busier the better- seemed to get her heart pounding and her body growing warm as she turned eagerly to Rick who usually began kissing her then. She'd never been comfortable with public displays of affection in the past, but Castle was careful to find a way to kiss her in a public, yet relatively private place so that they never garnered too much unwanted attention.

Now, as they stopped in front of the security door, Kate didn't even make a move to get her keys out. Instead, she turned to lean against the brick alcove and face Rick. She took hold of the lapels of his coat and pulled him close to her, watching as he smiled.

Rick pressed his upper body to hers, trapping her between his chest and the wall. Then he leaned down and kissed her. Kate sighed in pleasure; it was slow and sweet tonight.

Between two of his long, consuming kisses, Kate pulled away, gulped a much needed breath of air, and murmured, "Come upstairs for a drink."

For a moment, Rick said nothing, just took a hand from her hip and put it in his pants pocket. He'd done this often enough in the recent past that Kate knew he was now making a fist. _Why_, she still had no idea, she'd just noticed that it had become a habit in the past two months. "I need to be home soon," he finally said and then kissed her again.

Kate accepted the lie with a smile, returning the lingering kiss. In the last two months, Rick had been amazing. They had dinner together most nights and half the time Alexis joined them. The girl had been more than welcoming of Kate; she'd been ecstatic. Family dinners were no longer a cause for anxiety to Kate, but routine and especially pleasant. And every night Rick drove her home. Walked her to her door. And kissed her.

No matter what his kisses did to her own peace of mind, Rick always seemed to have perfect control. He always kept a respectful distance between their lower bodies no matter how hard he pressed his chest to hers. His hands remained on the more innocuous parts of her body; not once had he tried to grope any part of her that might get her heart beating faster than it already was. Every time she invited him up to her apartment, he put his hand in his pocket and found some excuse to say, "No." Kate knew why he always said no; he didn't trust himself to be alone with her. Rick wanted to respect her physical boundaries and denying her invitation was his way of doing that. She had no idea why he did the pocket thing though, but he did it every time, she realized. So now, she _had_ to ask.

Kate pulled away and in a rather breathless way (she _had_ just interrupted a kiss you know) she said, "Why do you do that?"

"Hmm?" Rick murmured as he moved to kiss the corner of her jaw.

Kate put her hand on his pants, just over where his hand was in his pocket, making a fist. "Why do you do that? You put your hand in your pocket every time you tell me 'no.'"

Rick pulled away from her, surprised she'd noticed, though he knew he shouldn't be; Kate Beckett was a Detective, a trained observer of people. Of course she'd notice something _that_ odd. Rick gave her a droll smile and said, "Just reminding myself why I _have_ to say 'no.'"

Kate frowned in confusion. "What do you mean? I wouldn't invite you up if I didn't want you there."

The hand that wasn't in his pocket came up to brush her hair back from her face. "But if I go upstairs with you, I'll end up kissing you."

"Yes, I know," she said, her smile implying that was _why_ she wanted him to accompany her into her home.

"And if we were alone together, I probably wouldn't be able to restrict myself to kissing alone. You're just too tempting."

"Yes, I know," she insisted, her grin growing.

Rick shook his head at her, grinning happily. Kate wanted to continue kissing him as much as he wanted the same thing; that made him feel _very_ good. "But what I want from you is more important to me than what are sure to be more very hot kisses and most likely some heavy petting."

_Wow_, Kate thought. Just the sound of it, in that low, deep voice of his, describing what she wanted to do with him, was getting her warmed up. "What is it that you _do_ want from me?" Kate asked breathlessly, her head tilting back to rest on the brick wall.

"Forever," He replied simply, though in the tone of voice that said he was disappointed she didn't already realize that. "If I go up to your apartment to be alone with you, I'll push too far. And I'm afraid I'll push you to the point you may have to break up with me because I won't be able to control myself. But even if you don't break up with me for it, I still want to help you honor the promise you made to your mother."

It amazed her still, how much Rick loved her. He'd proven it over and over in the last two months- the last two and a half years- but it was still a pleasant surprise to Kate each time he showed her, yet again, that he truly loved her. "There _are_ other things I'd be willing to do to you," Kate informed him in a rather sexy way.

So Rick kissed her, his excitement too much to control at the moment. When he pulled away, he was breathing hard. "Let me get a little more practice denying myself before we try something more intense than kissing."

Was there a note of desperation in his voice, Kate wondered? "Okay," she agreed. "But why do you put your hand in your pocket? How does that help you?"

Rick couldn't control the smile that touched his lips, but he did look a bit bashful as he finally removed his hand from his pocket. He brought his fist up to her eye level and then pointed his first finger at the sky. Wrapped around the tip of his finger, too small to fit past the second knuckle, a pretty little diamond ring sparkled in the low light. It was obviously expensive but small and tasteful, perfectly Kate's style. "I bought this the week we started dating. And I keep it with me because it helps me remember that what I want from you is more important and more lasting than a few... minutes... or hours... of pushing you into a physical relationship."

Kate was listening closely to everything he was saying, but her wide-open eyes were locked on that sparkly little ring. She found it difficult to swallow, her throat constricted as it was, when she reached up to take that little ring off his finger. When Rick stepped back to give her some space, Kate held the ring between them, staring down at it as she slipped it onto the appropriate digit. For a long moment, she moved her fingers, studying the weight of the ring, the feel of it on her hand and found that she kind of like it. Kate raised both her hands then to put them flat on Rick's chest, taking another long moment to study the look of the ring on her finger and found that she liked _that_ too.

"It's beautiful," Kate finally decreed. She looked up into Rick's eyes and smiled. "Do I get to keep it?"

"Not yet," Rick informed her with a teasing smile.

"When are you going to give it to me?" she prompted.

"Soon enough." When Kate frowned, Rick laughed. "I'm not going to propose to you in a dark doorway. And _when_ exactly will be a surprise," he added when it looked like she was about to ask.

Kate smiled and said, "Just make it soon."

"We've only been dating for two months," Rick felt it necessary to point out.

"But I've known you for three years. And I could actually stand you for two of those years," she said, teasing him. Then she grew more serious. "I'm sure now that I want _you_ to be my 'one and done.' We don't need to wait much longer."

Rick studied her in mild surprise. When he finally stepped close to her again, Kate slid her hands up his chest to wrap around his neck and pull him into a kiss.

Their kiss was more intense this time; the emotions that permeated the moment brought with them a desperate new urgency. Despite the urgency, despite the burning desire consuming them both, Kate pulled away from the kiss after only seconds.

"Come upstairs with me Rick," she gasped. "I want to touch you." Before he could even move his hand from her body, Kate added, "It's not there anymore, so there's no reason to put your hand in your pocket."

Rick sighed. "I'm not strong enough, love; I want you too much. If I go upstairs with you, I don't think I'll be able to stop myself from touching you."

"I could always handcuff you to something," she offered in a sexy sort of challenge.

"Kate," Rick began in denial, but she could tell by the desperate sound of his voice that he was breaking. Kate moved away from the wall, moved away from the press of Rick's body. She took his hand and began leading him slowly toward the door.

"Come upstairs with me Ricky," she repeated. "Let me touch you."

His gaze held hers for a long moment before he nodded oh so slightly.

Kate pulled him to the door, his hand held tightly in her own and both their hearts sped up in anticipation when Kate unlocked the front door and led him inside.

**A/N: Rating will be changing soon...**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Okay, I'm not going to officially change the rating of the overall story, but this chapter is rated M. If you like that kind of thing, please, read on. But if you don't, the next chapters will be rated T, so you can just skip this one. I hate to give anything away, but I'm so good at it! Therefore, I'll just say that no, they do not have sex. Kate will remain a virgin until her wedding night in this fic. **_**But**_** they do other things that are rated M. I just had to say: good job to Catatran33 who totally guessed where this was going! You're one smart cookie. ;-D Anyway, here's the new chapter:**

Kate kept a tight hold on his hand, knowing he was still reluctant to push his own self-control by accompanying her inside her apartment. She had a feeling he'd run if given the chance; she knew he loved her too much to push their physical relationship to a point Kate would be uncomfortable with. She'd just have to show him everything she _was_ comfortable with.

Kate practically dragged him inside her apartment, she was so eager to get him alone. They both left their shoes inside the front door and Kate continued pulling him to the couch. Rick gasped when she pushed him down and then sat in his lap.

Before she could kiss him though, and steal his breath along with his resolve, Rick said, "I love you, Kate. So much." He took a bracing breath and concluded, "Which is why I think I should go now."

Kate's heart began to race, her cheeks turned bright pink and even though she was kind of uncomfortable saying this out loud, told him, "I want to taste you." She wasn't exactly a prude- regardless of the fact that she'd never actually had sex before, she did have some experience with men… plus, she did _read_- but Rick was unique among the men of her past; no other man had ever made her _tell_ him what she wanted to do to him, they just dove right in, so to speak, and waited for Kate to call foul.

Realization dawning, Rick's eyes went wide and, drawn out on a long exhalation, he said, "Oooohhhh..." He studied her face. "It's okay with you if we do that?"

"Yes!" she said eagerly and eagerly kissed him.

But Rick only allowed the kiss for a moment before he stood up, practically dumping Kate out of his lap, and dragged her toward her bedroom. He didn't stop until they were both standing at the foot of her bed. Once there, he removed his coat and then pushed her down, guiding her up to recline against the pillows.

When she was settled, Rick's body tucked close to hers, all the urgency stopped.

Rick leaned over her slowly to kiss her, paying slightly more attention to the hand he trailed up her arm. He noted the soft skin briefly before Kate shivered under the touch of his fingertips and chill bumps broke out over her skin. Rick's slow kiss had just progressed to the point that his tongue touched Kate's lower lip, seeking entrance to her mouth, when his flat hand moved up over her shoulder, his thumb brushing the curve of her clavicle. Kate's mouth fell open on a gasp when Rick's hand finally moved down to touch her breast, something she'd wanted from him- but had never been given- every time they kissed.

In the two months they'd officially been dating, Rick had only kissed her; he'd barely even touched her. His hands never went where she really wanted them; he only touched her arms, her shoulder or her upper back. He hadn't even touched her lower back for fear the delicious curve of her spine might tempt his grasping hands farther down to other, even more delicious curves. Only during his more intense kisses, on those rare occasions he let go some of his rigid control, he'd hold onto her hips, usually to press her body back into whatever wall he held her against.

Now, his hand finally covered her breasts at the same time his tongue took possession of her mouth and Kate found herself whimpering in need. Kate was almost embarrassed by that unguarded sound but as his talented fingers began playing her body like an expert musician on his favorite guitar, her groan of satisfaction drowned out all other emotions.

Rick's hands stayed on her breasts for much too short a time, Kate thought, before they were sliding down her body, slowly studying the curves and planes of her torso before sliding over her hip and down her leg. Quite helpfully, Kate bent her leg up so Castle's grasp could explore more of her bare skin. Her short, button down dress only covered her to mid-thigh when standing and now, with her leg bent up and all, the lacy hem of her panties was just visible.

Castle's hand studied the skin on the inside of her knee before slowly guiding it down, away from him, to rest on the bed, bent as it was. His fingertips teased a burning trail up the inside of her thigh, but made a detour to push the hem of her dress up higher, out of his way.

Rick finally broke their kiss, not especially wanting to, but he _had_ to look at her now. He _had_ to watch her face as he touched her. And she was gasping. He glanced down at her body, noted the white lace covering the most intimate part of her, but looked back up at her face when he finally touched that lace. Her mouth fell open, releasing some very sexy sounds of pleasure, and her eyes closed when he began stroking her.

Touching her, Rick knew that she was ready for... She was physically ready for something she wasn't actually going to give him and that sobering recollection had him removing his hand from her hot center. But Kate made a sound to tell him of her unsatisfied need and he couldn't stop himself; his touch skated back up her body, _under_ the dress this time. The hem only allowed him to move his hand up so far though, so he began unbuttoning the dress, beginning at the top and working his way down.

This new project gave Rick the opportunity to resume his attempts to dominate Kate's mouth under his own. But his Katie was a fighter, and when his tongue invaded, she fought back with a fiery passion that damn near distracted him from the buttons still impeding his view of her lovely body. The task was eventually accomplished- delayed no doubt by this hand's tendency to wander her skin as it was exposed- and Kate's ever helpful self quickly threw back the dress and slipped out of it, managing to never once leave the warm press of Rick's body beside hers. Arching up, Kate's own hand dove behind her back to unhook her bra and then she removed it completely, throwing the garment across the room in her excitement. Her hands eagerly went to unbutton his shirt, making only one small detour to remove Rick's hand from her hip and impatiently replacing it upon her breast. When Kate had all the buttons undone, Rick stopped touching her long enough to shrug out of shirt and throw it to the floor.

Rick had to break away from her kiss, had to gasp in some air to clear the dizzying haze of lust fogging his mind. But the man had the sense to keep his hands on her body as he tried to breathe and he watched Kate's pleasure filled face as he touched her; first she bit her lip, then her mouth fell open to emit more of those sexy sounds.

"You are so beautiful, Kate," Rick observed as he watched her expressive face respond to his touches. Then he glanced down and the sight of her mostly bare body stole his breath even more effectively than any of her kisses had. Rick bent his head to kiss her collarbone, slowly making his way down, leaving a trail of hot, wet kisses as he went.

Rick thought he'd never heard a sound as beautiful as that moan of pleasure Kate made when his lips closed over her breast. Feeling he had this particular piece of flesh well covered by his mouth, Rick's hand began its journey back down her body, only this time he was more direct. Hooking his thumbs under the waistband of her panties, Rick pulled, removing them completely when Kate helpfully raised her hips for him. But instead of moving directly to his intended target now, Rick instead put his hand on her leg, pushing it back out so he could slip his body over hers, nestling himself in the cradle of her thighs. With his head over her breasts, Rick's body was low enough that he only encountered mattress when he pressed his hips down, but that was fine. That was what he'd intended; it was safer that way. But he didn't want to equivocate anymore so his kisses began to travel again, down her ribs, over her abdomen, pausing to dip his tongue into her bellybutton and moving right alone.

It took her brain a long, muddled moment, but Kate finally understood Rick's intended goal. Her knees closed on his ribs, halting him and when Castle looked up at her in confusion, Kate told him breathlessly, "No."

Rick's look immediately turned to one of concern and in an instant his entire demeanor changed. "I'm sorry," he told her, and Kate suspected he had every intention of stopping what he was doing, standing up and walking away after having- in his mind- pushed her too far.

Knowing he was only seconds away from leaving her, Kate wrapped her legs around his torso and didn't let him move. "Kiss me," she insisted, pulling on his shoulders and trying to indicate that she wanted him to climb back up her body and kiss her mouth.

With one eyebrow cocked in a sexy way, Rick said, "Okay." Then he quickly leaned down in an attempt to kiss her center.

"No!" she repeated, more frantic now.

Utterly confused, Rick asked, "Are you ready for us to stop?"

"No!" She almost wanted to cry at the very notion of _stopping_. "But don't... Don't do _that_. I wanted to touch _you_, I didn't mean for you-"

"I don't mind," Rick said, cutting her off because he could see how uncomfortable she was becoming. Then he gave a sexy sort of smile and told her, "Believe me, I probably want this more than you do."

"You don't have to," she tried to assure him, but she was still uncomfortable. When he looked like he was going to argue, she added, "I don't want you to."

"You don't..." Rick began in shocked confusion. But then understanding dawned on him and he was downright horrified. "Has no one ever done this for you?" He asked in outrage.

"Yes," she admitted. "A couple of times, but I don't like it."

"You don't like it?" he repeated, completely dumbfounded.

Kate shrugged self-consciously. "It was always really awkward. And not very good. And I'm used to being the one in control. I wanted to do this for _you_; I didn't mean for you to... _you_ know."

Rick nodded, which made Kate think he was finally going to drop it and do as she asked- climb back up her body and kiss her- but Rick wasn't going to give up that easily. He murmured, "My poor Katie." And without further words or hesitation, he fell on her, kissing her center as ardently as he'd kissed her mouth only moments ago.

Kate nearly flew off the bed in surprise, her back arched so far. The touch of his skillful mouth- his talented tongue- on her body was so much more intense than anything else she'd ever experienced that her vision swam dizzily and her mind swirled in a haze of pleasure.

Rick wanted to add to the pleasurable assault on her body but he still wasn't quite sure what he was allowed to do with a virgin- one that he _didn't_ have immediate plans to despoil anyway- so he figured it would be safer to stick to what he knew Kate would allow. Instead of adding this touch to her center like he might have if she weren't a virgin, he slid his hand back up her body to caress her breasts again.

The overwhelming sensations of his hands on her breasts and his mouth on her core had her back arching, her knees falling open onto the bed to release Rick's body and give him better access, and her hands fisting in the sheets, giving a rather pathetic attempt to keep her body tethered down. When that didn't work, her hands moved to clutch Rick's head, her fingers in his soft hair, urging him on where only moments ago she'd been reluctant and embarrassed. But if Rick's lips and tongue were capable of producing more of these blissful sensations, Kate considered making good on her earlier threat to handcuff him to her bed so he could _never_ leave.

When her body finally broke under his mouth, the noises Kate made filled the room. Even though Rick knew she'd just climaxed, he couldn't bring himself to stop just yet. To feel her body shuddering under his kiss was so arousing in and of itself that Rick was almost afraid his own release would follow hers by only seconds. So, in an effort to distract himself, he continued to touch, continued to taste and counter-intuitively, that did help. Too soon, Kate was trying to move her body away from his mouth, from his hand that never stilled, but Rick wasn't paying attention.

Eventually, Kate fisted her hands in his hair and pulled, and Rick finally got the hint. He moved back up her torso- not like he had much choice with Kate pulling on his hair the way she was- but he slipped his body off of hers as he went. Lying on his side on the bed again, Rick pressed his long form to her side and kissed her deeply, Kate moaning into his mouth all the pleasure she found in his arms.

Though she was now feeling warm and sleepy, the press of Rick's hips against her thigh let Kate know that his urgency was quickly growing desperate. Despite his obvious need, he made no move whatsoever to seek his own release.

Breaking away from the intense kiss- however difficult _that_ proved to be- Kate commanded him in a low, breathy voice, "Take your pants off."

Rick shook his head, 'no,' and kissed her again.

But she pulled away again and asked, "You're going to make me work around them?"

When Rick nodded his head, 'yes,' Kate rolled her eyes, though she was smiling too.

"Fine. Take off your pants but leave your shorts on," she offered as a compromise.

And Rick finally said, "Okay."

Rick rolled to his back and Kate went with him, pressing her body to his side even as he quickly unzipped his pants, pushed them down as far as he could reach and then kicked the rest of the way out of them. Kate wanted to laugh at the silly spectacle of his frantic kicking, but Rick was left in dark blue, silky looking shorts and the silliness left her when it was no longer possible for him to hide how ready for her he was.

Kate put her hand out to touch the material over his leg and observed, "Soft." Then she ran her hand up his thigh, over his hip to the waistband of his shorts. She intuitively guessed that he insisted upon keeping them on because they gave him one last line of defense between his naked body and hers. Kate also suspected they were an added reminder for Rick that he couldn't actually have what he wanted with her- not yet, anyway.

Kate was touched that Rick was working so hard to honor her wishes regarding their physical relationship. None of her previous boyfriends had worked half this hard to respect her boundaries and Kate suspected that the difference was because none of _them_ had really loved her.

When Kate turned her head to look into Rick's vivid blue eyes, she found him looking down his body. Following his gaze, Kate watched the flash of her ring in the low light as she finally moved her hand to cover the hard length of him.

Idly Kate wondered if he was watching her hand as she stroked him or if he was watching her ring sparkle like she was.

Only seconds later, Rick answered her unspoken question when he informed her- between gasps of pleasure- "We're not officially engaged yet, you know."

To punish him- or maybe just to shut him up- Kate squeezed her hand just a little tighter around him as she stroked him though his shorts.

But Kate should have known better; other than another gasp, Rick's ability to chatter incessantly wasn't affected at all. "No one has asked anyone any questions yet," he reminded her needlessly.

Kate wanted to laugh but at the same time she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing she _wasn't_ offended by his insistence they _weren't_ engaged. "You're still not getting my ring back," she informed him, her lips close to his ear.

"You mean _my_ ring. I haven't actually given it to you yet."

Instead of arguing the obvious, Kate put her mouth to the outer curve of his ear and purred, "But look at how pretty _my_ ring is, wrapped so _tight_ around my little _finger_." Kate squeezed him each time she emphasized one of her words.

"Hey," he retorted, though there was little force behind the reprimand now. "No using the word 'little' when you're doing _that_."

Kate's hand was still moving on him, wrapped around him as best she could with his shorts still covering him. "What words would you prefer I use?" she asked suggestively.

But Rick only looked at her, asking without speaking, '_Are you really asking me that inane question?_'

With his eyes now on her face, Kate gave him a pouty look and she asked, "You're not _really_ going to take my ring away from me, are you?"

Rick sighed, playing along though he could see the joy in Kate's eyes. "No, I guess not. It looks pretty perfect right where it is."

Kate smiled and leaned over to kiss him, invading his mouth at the same time her hand finally pushed beneath his clothes to touch him. It was her way of thanking him- rewarding him- for letting her have her way.

There were too many different things going on for Rick to fight for dominance of _this_ kiss, so he just lay back and let Kate control him, following her lead with her kisses and her touches. He was already so close to release that when Kate finally broke their kiss and moved down his body to take his erection into her mouth, Rick had to make a conscious effort not to break then and there. With her body between his legs, Kate touched him with both hands as she worked him with her mouth.

Too soon, Rick was warning her, "I'm close, Katie."

As her reply, Kate drew him deep into her mouth to draw from him his release, moaning along with Rick as he broke.

**A/N: Sorry I took so long to get this posted. I'm okay! (someone asked… but yes, I'm well). I just got a bad review (**_**one**_** bad review) on another story and it totally rattled my already minimal self-confidence in my writing so I have been decidedly uninspired to post this summer. I hate that I let it get to me, but on the flip side, the good reviews just make my day that much better. I'm not trying to discourage reviews of any kinds, I'm just saying that I'm sorry that **_**all**_** of my writing was affected by **_**one**_** needlessly upsetting comment. I'm sorry and I'll try to get better! If you can believe it, I've already improved some since I started posting on FanFiction. I've been writing my whole life, but until I started posting here just over a year ago, I **_**never **_**let **_**anyone **_**read anything I've written. Hopefully, I'll continue to gain **_**some**_** confidence.**

**The next chapter has been started for this so hopefully it won't take me so long to post. I'm just not sure if I want to bring Alexis into the story or not, you know, talking about her dad getting married again and what-not. If y'all would like to see some Alexis moments, please let me know? If not, I can just finish this story up with the after-the-wedding scene… :-D**


	8. Chapter 8

As Rick attempted to catch his breath, all the urgency gone now, Kate slowly kissed her way up his body, taking the time to touch and explore and kiss and nip at the warm skin she'd been too impatient to really appreciate until now. She was pressed close to him, a knee braced on the bed on either side of his hips, when her lips finally found his again. And this time was slow, each of them pouring into their kiss everything they felt for each other. But Rick could feel the heat of her body on him and even though Kate had proven how very well she could keep a man happy, Castle knew that even now, very little prompting from her would still inspire lustful stirrings from him. With his hand on her hip, the other wrapped around her back, Rick guided her off of him, rolling with her to lie on their sides.

Wrapped in his arms, tucked close to his chest, Kate drew back to look at him. "Stay with me tonight?" she asked hopefully. "Sleep beside me and wake up next to me in the morning."

Rick's expression was half grimace, half smile when he admitted, "I really would love to, but I told Alexis I'd be home."

Kate smiled and nodded her head though part of her was _kind of_ disappointed. Kate loved that Rick's family always came first and soon, she'd officially be part of that family too.

"Tell you what," Rick said, noticing her look and correctly interpreting her thoughts. This new dynamic was nice for him, being with a woman who never forced him to choose between her and his family; it made him want to compromise as much as he could. "I'll stay until you fall asleep, okay?"

"I don't want you to leave without kissing me good night," she told him, resting her head against his chest.

"I won't."

"Okay," she finally agreed.

After a long moment, neither of them had moved so Rick asked, "Would you like to get under the covers?"

Kate sighed. "Yes, but I don't want to move." She nuzzled her face against his shoulder and added, "You're comfy."

"I can move us both," he offered.

But Kate sighed again. "No, I need to get up anyway." She reluctantly climbed out of bed, heading to the bathroom as she called, "I'll be right back."

When she returned, her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and her pretty face was scrubbed free of any cosmetics, while Rick was snuggled under the covers, waiting for her and watching as she moved around her bedroom naked. Her stride and posture were just as confident and self-assured as when the Detective was armored with a gun, a badge and a bullet proof vest. And Rick's eyes were drawn to the sight of her just as thoroughly now as they always had been- _maybe_ even more so... She _was_ naked, you know and that was definitely a novelty worth endless observation.

Kate went directly to him and slid beneath the covers when Rick held them out for her. Moving immediately into his arms, she settled her head on his shoulder as he lay on his back and began playing with her hair. Her knee bent over his thigh and her calf wrapped around his, but didn't go much further in deference to Rick's sanity. She knew that what they'd done tonight was difficult for him- difficult because he'd had to hold back even though he wanted _more_- so Kate reminded herself to be cautious with him. And then she wanted to giggle; it was vaguely ridiculous that she was the one in this situation reminding herself to be cautious. But Kate Beckett didn't _do_ giggling. Her hand wasn't behaving itself like she'd intended; as soon as she rested it on his chest, it began sweeping back and forth over his skin, feeling the warmth, the muscle and the soft skin lightly dusted with hair.

Kate sighed contentedly and told him, "I like this."

"Me too," he replied, a smile in his voice before he pressed a kiss to her hair.

"I like it enough," Kate continued slowly, letting Castle know by her tone that she was saying something serious. "I could spend every night, for the rest of my life, just like this and I don't think I'd ever grow tired of it."

Rick's heart beat picked up to an excited pace and he found it slightly difficult to breathe now, his lungs constricted by deep emotion, an elated smile splitting his face. But he wouldn't have been Richard Castle if he passed up the opportunity to needle his favorite Detective. "Did you just propose to me, Detective Beckett?" Rick asked her in a teasing way.

"I'm not letting you off the hook _that_ easy, Ricky," Kate retorted. "You're still going to have to do the whole sappy scene for me." She looked up at him and smiled. "Do you know how many times I've imagined you proposing to me? I've pictured it so many different ways."

"Which one is your favorite?" He asked, overly casually, but Kate wasn't fooled by his nonchalance. This conversation was vitally important to him.

Kate just smirked, shook her head and said, "I'm not telling you."

"Oh, come on," Rick whined. "Just tell me one scenario."

"I'm not doing all the work for you!" Kate insisted. "And I don't want you to think you have to do it _my_ way. I _know_ you and I know you like surprising people, doing something special for the people you love. I'm not going to take that away from you."

She didn't _have_ to look to simply _know_ he was smiling, but it was a pleasant sight nonetheless. Rick held her close and pressed a kiss to her temple. "Alright, Kate. I'll make your proposal special. Though most of the surprise is gone because you already know I'm going to do it in the first place. But I still want to know one- just _one_- of your proposal fantasies. And I promise I won't use it to influence my own plans."

"Do you already have a plan?"

"An idea is percolating, yes. But I still need to think on it."

Kate sighed. "Okay. I'll tell you _one_ scenario I've fantasized about." Kate propped her chin on Rick's chest and gazed warmly into his eyes. "Do you remember that night in your bar when I drank too much and told you all my secrets?"

Rick gave her a wry smile, cocking an eyebrow at her. "I believe I recall something like that happening, yes."

Kate smiled, acknowledging his gross understatement. "Well, in my fantasy, as we're dancing together to some soft, sweet song-"

"_The Only Exception_, by Paramore" Rick offered, his way of telling her that, yes, he remembered that night vividly. "Or _In My Room_, by Incubus."

"Right, we're dancing one moment and then kissing the next. And it was at that point that you put your hands on my hips and practically pushed me down onto the couch. Then my fantasy diverges from reality because in my mind, you push me down and land on top of me. In the next moment, our clothes magically disappear and your hands are all over me. And though I offer a token protest, and you promise me that you'll stop as _soon_ as I tell you to, we're making love on the couch in your private office. I've contemplated this scene countless times and no matter how talented Fantasy-Rick is, I don't think it was even half as good as what we did together tonight. And we haven't even had sex yet!"

Rick smiled happily and then kissed her, glad to know he'd pleased her.

"As we snuggle together afterward, our naked bodies tangled so close I think our skin might permanently fuse together, you tell me you love me- you've always loved me- and you want to continue loving me every day of forever. Then you reach for your pants on the ground, pull a ring out of the pocket and tell me you bought it the day you met me, because even back then you _knew_ I was the one. Then you ask me to marry you and I'm too choked up to say anything, but I put on your ring and kiss you and then we're making love again."

Rick was speechless for a moment, digesting her words, while attempting not to let them affect him, but it was difficult. Knowing that she'd actually thought about having sex with him- and she was admitting to it!- was turning him on again, even as he fought to control his wayward body. "But you..." He didn't know how to ask the question, so he pointed out the obvious flaw in her scenario. "You're a virgin."

Kate smiled wickedly. "That's why it's called a fantasy, Mr. Castle." She tilted her head down to press a kiss to his chest and then looked back up at him through her dark lashes. "Absolutely _anything_ can happen in a fantasy."

Rick closed his eyes and took several slow, deep breaths before he groaned in pain. "I'm not going to survive until the wedding. You're going to kill me- torture me to death- I just know it!"

"I'm sorry," Kate replied in a tone that said there was nothing she could (or would) do about it. "I guess you'll just have to marry me that much sooner," she concluded, with a smile and a kiss to his shoulder that told him she would be okay with that arrangement.

"I swear, you have to stop proposing to me, Katie," Rick teased her. "I'm going to take you seriously one of these times."

Kate suddenly slapped at his ribs in lieu of a reply, making Castle chuckle. Then, with a gentle touch, he guided her head down to his shoulder, pressing his lips to her hair when she was settled. His hand swept down her back in a soothing gesture, but when he reached the curve of her backside without encountering any impediments, Rick was forcefully reminded- not that he'd ever truly forgotten- that Kate was totally naked under the covers, and her lithe form was pressed against his side. Yes, he was quite sure he wouldn't make it to the wedding; her tempting self was just too... _tempting_, and he was afraid someone would get shot when he was unable to continue denying his baser urges. Or maybe Kate would spank him...

With that happy thought, Rick said, "There's something I've been wondering about for months now."

"How to annoy me to the point I actually shoot you one day?" Kate quipped, a smile in her voice.

He chuckled but didn't retort, just asked, "Do you remember that case we had, with the smothered dominatrix?"

"That's what you've been wondering?" she asked sarcastically, in a derogatory way. "Of course I remember it! I'm not dumb, you know." More seriously she added, "I got to tease you, oh, so much because of that case. It was wicked fun!"

"But that's what I'm talking about. You made several comments that made me think you've had more sexual experience than you actually have."

Kate smiled wickedly, and decided to play dumb, to make this just a little difficult for him. "None of that was actually a question," she pointed out.

"Kate," he said her name as a reprimand, knowing that she had anticipated his question, but was just being difficult. "If you've never had sex, how did you know..."

"That that position you were gaping at on Ryan's computer _is_ in fact possible?" Kate finished for him. When Rick nodded, she smiled. "I'm not _totally_ innocent, Castle! I have had _some_ experience with men. Besides that, I do _read_, and not just mysteries and plays. Plus, I happen to have a pretty well developed kinesthetic sense." Kate smiled wickedly for him and informed him, "I know what my own body is capable of, and I'm pretty sure I could bend that way if I was asked nicely."

Well, he had no response to that, other than renewed blood-pooling in interesting places, so he kept quiet and focused on calming thoughts. Kate followed his lead and soon her breaths turned deep and slow.

Rick was used to fantasizing about her, finding comfort in imagined scenarios when he couldn't have the flesh and blood Detective Kate Beckett. He'd had plenty of practice in the almost three years he'd known her. But this time it was different; she was actually his, in every way except physically, and as he gently stroked her to sleep, he didn't fantasize about the physical, but rather the poignant moments that spoke of how deeply they were in love. It would have been so easy to picture her body contorted around his that way, especially since she'd just told him she could do it, but that's not what he thought of now... _much_. Instead, he wondered what it would be like standing beside her in front of a guy dressed in black, declaring them husband and wife. He really hoped she'd allow Alexis to be a part of the ceremony, and he experienced only a brief moment of anxiety until he reminded himself that Kate loved Alexis _almost_ as much as he did. He fantasized about what Kate would be like as a mother; would she be an overprotective mama-bear or a hands-off type who 'let her kids be kids?' He hoped she would be somewhere in the middle, but if he was sure of anything, he knew that Kate would surprise him. She was so damned good at that, he thought happily.

Kate's body was draped heavily over his and when he looked down, her beautiful face was relaxed in almost-sleep. He'd never seen her looking so young, so free of stress and worry. He didn't want to wake her, but if he didn't leave soon, he'd follow her into dream-land and make Alexis worry when he didn't come home like he'd promised.

Kate's left hand rested on his chest and Rick wondered what to do about that ring. It would be a bit awkward- and a dead giveaway- if he had to ask for it back when he finally proposed. But she _wanted_ it and Castle didn't have the heart to physically remove it from her finger, especially as she slept. Besides, he liked the look of it there; _his_ ring on _Kate's_ hand. It was like a primal mark of possession and instead of being ashamed of his caveman-like sentiments, he was happy that she was so eager to wear his ring.

Gently lifting her hand, Rick kissed the diamond, and then turned it over to kiss her palm. When he set it carefully back down, he put his hand to her face, brushing her hair back and gently drawing her out of her light sleep.

"Time for me to go, love," he said quietly. When Kate sighed, readjusting in her sleep, Rick gently extricated himself from her hold.

"Mmm, come back..." Kate mumbled sleepily.

"It's time for me to go home," Rick countered regretfully. "But I'll take you out to dinner tomorrow night. Somewhere nice. And then you can spend the night at my place if you want to."

"Okay," Kate sighed, nuzzling her face into her pillow.

He knew better than to take her mumbled, half-asleep reply as acquiescence to his proposal, but suddenly Castle was looking forward to tomorrow night. To holding her in his bed all night long, even if they did nothing more than sleep- which was the most likely probability.

Rick was pulling his clothes back on as Kate put her arm out, groping blindly at the side of her bed. Her knuckles knocked against her side table before she felt for the drawer and reached inside. Rick thought it was hilarious and smiled at the sight; her hand moved of its own volition as if it were possessed. Her head wasn't even turned in the direction of her blind groping, only serving to heighten the illusion that the limb was autonomously searching within the drawer. Then her arm bent up, holding up a little silver key, and the amusement left him, replaced by shock. "Lock up 'fore you leave," she mumbled, offering the key to Rick without even looking at it, or him.

Kate would never let him know, but she was actually wide awake. She'd been waiting a couple weeks now for the perfect opportunity to present Rick with a key to her house without making a big deal about it. She was actually _very_ relieved that he was providing her this excuse for handing over the key in such a nonchalant way. She had never been one to make a big deal over "important" relationship milestones. The day-to-day was the special part to her, not the big declarations or emotionally charged moments that only lasted moments anyway, which was also why a small part of her worried that Castle's overly dramatic self would turn her proposal into a circus. But she'd just presented him a key to her apartment and there wasn't even a violin in sight!

Rick just stood there stupidly for a moment, gaping. Kate was offering him a key to her place? Sure, they had talked about marriage- so many times now that it was just a matter of waiting for the right moment to make it official- but she was such a private person, it was difficult adjusting to the myriad new ways she was letting him into her life. Rick took the key from her hand with the reverence usually reserved for holy relics, before he leaned down over her to kiss her cheekbone lingeringly.

"Until tomorrow, Detective," he murmured before he kissed her again, on the corner of her mouth. "I love you, sweetheart."

"You, too," she mumbled, mostly asleep now, despite the charade of only moments ago.

Rick pulled her comforter up over her bare shoulders, tucking her in nice and warm before he left the room. As he stood outside her front door, he just stared at the key in his hand for a long time. It felt like the world had shifted, everything was different, even though nothing had changed. The only difference was the key he held in his hand, and nothing had seemed as important as slipping that key into the locks on her front door and securing them behind him. It was such a mundane task, but was now steeped in meaning. He went to slip the key into his pocket as he headed out to his car, but found he couldn't let it go. He held the warmed piece of metal all the way home and finally decided that Friday- just the day after tomorrow- he'd propose. There was no reason to delay any longer; they were _both_ ready.

He was just locking up his own front door when he finally pulled the key out of his pocket again, just to look at it. He was so busy staring at it that he didn't at first notice his little girl coming down the stairs.

When she finally called out, "Hey, Dad," Rick started.

"Hey pumpkin," he replied, a bit breathlessly. "What are you doing up?"

Alexis rolled her eyes in a way that reminded him of Kate. Those two were definitely spending way too much time together lately, Rick mused. That thought made him smile happily.

"I told you I'd be studying until you got home. What took you so..." The girl realized the possible answers to the question she was about to ask, grimaced and then quickly said, "Never mind. I don't want to know."

Rick chuckled and though he wanted to tell Alexis that what she was thinking had happened between him and Kate hadn't actually happened, there was no way he could tell her what really had happened. So he kept his mouth shut, but someday soon he'd definitely have to tell his daughter that Kate was saving herself for marriage. He had ulterior motives for the conversation, and most importantly, he hoped that Kate's life choices would inspire Alexis to do the same. The _exact_ same thing, and remain a virgin until she was thirty-three. Or even older... But tonight was not the night for _that_ conversation, not when he still felt all warm and tingly from what he and Kate _had_ done.

Rick sighed mentally and griped, _euphemisms are tedious._

Sudden nerves froze him in his spot as he looked over his daughter's head into the refrigerator. He knew Alexis loved Kate, but how would his little girl feel to no longer be the only woman in his life? They had shared 'family' dinners and it had been more than pleasant- it had been amazing. But Rick hadn't really asked Alexis yet how she would feel about having _another_ new step-mom...

Father and daughter sensed a new tension between them as the 'serious-talk' vibe permeated the air. In the same moment, they both decided they'd better choose and close the fridge door and, their gazes both lighting upon the same thing, they both reached out for small containers of fruit juice- the real kind, not the mostly-syrup stuff that Rick usually preferred. When their hands collided, they both laughed and pulled back.

Alexis grabbed both drinks, closed the fridge and tossed one to her dad. Then she settled on one of the barstools, facing her father and preparing for _The Talk_... even though she didn't really know what this one would be about.

"Kate made it home safely, I assume?" Alexis finally asked, when it seemed like waiting for her father to speak first was going to be a fruitless endeavor on par with banging one's head against a wall.

Rick finally focused on his daughter's face, grateful for her opening to begin the conversation. Smiling, he assured, "Safe and sound." He thought for a second and then realized that he was still clutching Kate's house key in his hand. So he held it up and told Alexis, "She even gave me this."

Alexis tilted her head to one side, put her hand over her heart in mockingly sentimental way and teasingly asked, "The key to her heart? Aww."

Though Rick chuckled along, he corrected her "No, better! The key to her apartment!"

That stunned the teasing right out of her! "Oh! Wow! That's so cool, Dad! Congratulations."

His smile dimmed only slightly when he told his daughter, "I was thinking about offering Kate a key in return. A key to the loft."

"She doesn't have one already?" Alexis asked, confused.

"No, I wanted to talk to _you_ about it before I offered someone else a key to _your_ home." Over-protective-parent was a good look for him, Alexis decided.

"Of course I don't mind, Dad. I wish Kate were over more often. _She_ actually gives me a challenge when we have a family game night! And she always lets _me_ pick the movies!" She was hassling her dad, teasing him because she knew it would amuse him. Her ribbing was rewarded when he chuckled, but the sound ended much too soon and he was looking decidedly tense now. So Alexis had to know, "Dad, is everything okay?"

"Yes, of course. Everything is fine, I just... I wanted to talk to you about something..." He trailed off aimlessly.

"Okay..." Alexis prompted when it didn't appear as if he'd continue on his own.

He took a deep breath and asked, "How do you feel about Kate, honey?"

Though she was a little surprised by the question- surprised because she'd never hidden how much she liked the woman and enjoyed her company- she knew better than to tease now. Her dad was looking for an honest answer. "I like her a lot. I mean... I know you usually try to keep some distance between me and your girlfriends, Dad, because you don't want me to become too attached, but I don't think Kate's like any of the other women you've dated. I... I love her like family, though I probably won't be calling her 'mom' any time soon!" She added as an afterthought, and kind of a joke. Alexis thought that Kate was a serious person; she'd take something like marriage- especially to Richard-Twice-Divorced-Castle- seriously and slowly.

Watching his little girl talk about Kate- trying to be open and loving yet realistic about her father's love life- was kind of difficult for the father. He had always regretted that Alexis hadn't had a stable female presence in her life, and he'd tried to shelter her from the repercussions of his own love life, but the girl had had to learn the hard way that not all relationships lasted, especially where her father was concerned. Rick just hoped it wasn't too late to fix that. Once he had Kate tied to him in every way humanely possible, he never intended on letting her go, not just because he loved her with every atom of his being but because he could trust her with Alexis's heart as well as his own.

"I'm going to ask her to marry me," He pretty much blurted out because he could think of no other way to lead up to it, to talk around the issue in order to lead his daughter to that conclusion. Plus, he was tired and he didn't really want to be up all night talking in metaphors and euphemisms.

To his surprise, Alexis just laughed. When she'd calmed somewhat, she teased, "That's only news to _you_, Dad. I'm actually just surprised you waited _this_ long, that's gotta be some kind of record for you!" Though Kate might take things slowly, Alexis knew her father sometimes had impulse control issues; He'd ask sooner than later and Alexis just hoped Kate would take the time to rein him in instead of being put off by a too-soon marriage proposal.

Rick smiled to see his daughter so amused. She was _such_ a cool kid! He was glad for the millionth time that day that she was _his_ kid. "I take it this means that you're okay with it?"

Alexis nodded. "Yeah, Dad. Kate's really cool; I could think of worse candidates for step-mothers. I'm just glad it's not one of _them_." Alexis shuddered in mock-horrification then hopped down from her perch; 'The Talk' was over now and she was _tired_. She walked around to hug her dad goodnight, waiting happily while he kissed the top of her head and held her close for a pleasant father-daughter moment. But the wise little girl couldn't send her father off without a word of advice. "Just try not to scare Kate away by proposing too soon, Dad. I really do like her."

"I won't scare her away," he said with a chuckle. It amused him how she felt she needed to parent him sometimes; the really hilarious part was that she was usually right.

"Okay," she said doubtfully, but dropped the issue when he held her tighter.

"I love you, Angel," he murmured.

"Love you too, Dad."

He didn't relinquish his hold yet, just pressed his cheek to her hair and held on to the child who was growing up way too quickly in Rick's opinion. "You'll always be first on my list, Kiddo. You know that right?"

"I know, Daddy. Kate feels the same way, you know." Alexis had never doubted that Kate cared for her. Kate always made sure to include Alexis in whatever was happening concerning her and the Castle household. "She loves me almost as much as you do."

"I know that. I'm just glad that you do, too."

"I do." She held her father close for another minute then tried to pull away from his tight embrace but he wouldn't let her go. "Now let me go! I'm tired!"

Chuckling, he relinquished his hold and just watched his little girl as she headed off to bed. Sometimes he _really_ wished she were still young enough for bedtime stories. It gave him the opportunity to spend just a little more time with his baby girl and usually led to a few minutes of watching her sleep. But he knew teenage Alexis would be creeped out by his staring, and he realized he'd have to let her go soon, off to college and then off to live with some guy who didn't deserve her.

She was almost gone before he remembered the last thing he'd wanted to talk to her about and he called out her name.

"What, Dad?" She replied in a tone that was _almost_ annoyed.

Hesitantly, he said, "I forgot to mention… ask… Do you mind if Kate sleeps over tomorrow night?"

"Ew, Dad," Alexis grimaced, but then smiled at her father to let him know she wasn't really grossed out. "But yeah, it's okay with me." She turned and ascended the last steps, calling back to her father, "But just remember that if I see _anything _that scars me for life, _you_ will be paying my therapy bills indefinitely." Rick chuckled as his daughter disappeared to her room. Yeah, he would definitely have to have a talk with Alexis about all the things Kate _didn't_ do. And who knows, with the way his little girl looked up to Kate, maybe she'd take a vow of chastity too! Well, a father could only hope.

**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who left me words of support after my last A/N! It meant a lot that you are all so constructive and full of advice. Thank you!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: So SciFiGirl65 let me know that someone else was writing a Kate-is-a-virgin story and I figured I'd better finish this one up. Thank you for lighting a fire under my butt, SciFiGirl65!**

Kate checked her reflection one last time before heading out to open her front door. She had anticipated this moment all afternoon, nervousness- not that she would ever admit to it- and excitement pounding through her veins. When she heard his knock, her heart sped faster, but the moment she opened the door, and finally saw his boyish smile, the nervousness fled on a sigh, calm relief taking its place.

"Castle," Kate greeted in her usual brusque tone.

"Detective," Rick replied in a similar tone. Then he grinned happily and stepped forward, his hand coming to rest possessively on her bare shoulder as he leaned in to kiss her neck. "You look stunning, Kate."

Kate pressed her lips together in a small grin that told Castle she was charmed whether or not she wanted to be. Her gaze then raked up and down his body and she looked back up at him through her lashes, offering, "You're not so bad yourself, Ricky."

Rick's hand slid down her bare arm, finally taking her hand, brushing his thumb over the diamond ring on her finger. He brought her hand up between them, studying the flash of light in the facets of the rock as he teased, "I knew you had the hots for me."

Kate's smile finally blossomed, fully blooming on her face as she laughed. She removed her hand from his grasp, reaching up wrap her hands around his tie, and stepping in close to him. "My dear… sweet… little narcissist. Were we _going_ to have dinner or did you want us to spend the evening stroking your… _ego?_"

Unrepentant- and a little turned on now, actually- Castle continued to smile. "Let's go." _Let's get out of here quickly before I push you against the door and…_ his mind trailed off in a blissful haze, knowing he would get in trouble for uttering his thoughts out loud.

Kate reached out to grab her coat and then relinquished it to Castle when he took it and held it out for her to slip into. And she did not even fuss when he took her hand, entwining their fingers, as he grabbed her over-night bag and led her out to his car.

Her breath caught at the sight of his shiny red Ferrari, but tonight, she would let Rick drive. Her brain was too busy and she wanted the time during the drive to think.

All day long, Castle had been teasing her. She had woken up to an empty bed and even though it had been expected, she was still disappointed. She had spent her morning ablutions thinking, going about the monotonous tasks mindlessly, fantasizing instead about married life with Rick. Waking up next to him every morning, going to sleep beside him every night… preventing him from actually _sleeping_…

Despite her musings which only delayed her morning routine, Kate was in early to the precinct. And Castle was already there, smiling when he saw her, waiting with her requisite coffee.

"You're in early," Kate observed, taking her coffee without thanks or acknowledgement even of their ritual, knowing that Castle understood how much that simple coffee meant to her.

"I couldn't sleep," he explained. "Every time I closed my eyes, visions of naked goddesses danced before my eyes and… well, let's just say I did some major damage to my cold water bill this month."

Kate stood over him, hiding her smile behind her coffee cup and feigning indifference to his words as she took a sip. Finally she quirked an eyebrow and asked, "goddess, huh?"

"_Naked _goddess," Castle corrected, his voice dreamy and his eyes far away. "I should have taken pictures," he mused absently.

With no other recourse that would _not _garner unwanted attention, Kate swiftly kicked him in the shin- not enough to cause (much) damage, but enough to wipe that day-dreaming-of-Kate-naked look off his stupefied face.

Instead of complaining though, Castle snapped to attention and said, "Right, sorry." Then, looking up at her, Kate could see the hamster wheels squeaking noisily in his mischievous little mind and she narrowed her eyes on his until he slid from his chair, to kneel- on one knee- before her. A full minute passed as they studied each other- one shocked and horrified, the other smiling impishly- before Castle leaned over to rub at his shin, exaggerating the pain he felt to put on a show. "I can't believe you kicked me!" He whined, though he still wore that shit-eating grin. Kate had thought he was going to propose and the ass-hat knew it. When her eyes narrowed down at him, Castle sensed danger and quickly fled, returning only when he had some sweet pastry as a peace offering.

Kate just shook her head at him but he knew he was forgiven… until the next time he fake-proposed. He did it several times during the day. Once, they were approaching a crime scene when he halted her with a hand on her wrist. Then he lowered himself to one knee… and gently… sweetly… he informed her that he needed to tie his shoe. By the fourth time he did this, Kate could not decide whether she was going to clobber him, push him down, chew him out, or laugh until she cried.

She _wanted_ him to ask the question, she truly did, but not like this; not in public, not where friends and strangers alike would be witness to the sappy, pathetic tears of happiness she just _knew_ she would not be able to contain. Which was why the prospect of this fancy dinner out on the town with Castle made her so nervous. Kate did not want the cliché proposal in a crowded restaurant over a "romantic" meal. The only thing she was glad for was the fact that she already had her ring; Castle would not be able to hide it in anything consumable, otherwise she had the feeling he might have tried.

When they were finally seated, alone at their table and not initiating conversation would have been rude- not to mention awkward- Kate decided it was time to make small talk. Rick had let her keep her silence during their car ride, making her think he was nervous too… but when she opened her mouth to ask what was good to eat here, instead she blurted, "Don't propose to me yet."

Startled for only a moment, Rick quickly recovered, chuckling. "Well, I was at least going to wait until after we ate. The food here is _amazing_. We should have some before we ruin the night with serious talk."

"Ruin?" She challenged with a raised eyebrow.

Rick simply smiled and reached across the table to grasp her left hand, brushing his thumb back and forth over her ring. "I wasn't going to propose to you here. Tonight. This was all just another part of my plan to throw you off. Did it work?"

Looking gleeful over the prospect of having thrown her equilibrium off kilter (yet again), Kate rolled her eyes at her overgrown man-child. But she truthfully admitted, "Yes. You did manage to rattle me a little today."

Rick smiled triumphantly before fishing in his pocket. "I was even going to present you with this and lead you to believe it's another ring. But it's not and I still want you to have it." He pushed the box across the table and Kate accepted it with wide eyes.

Kate's look turned to one of confusion when she opened the box and found… an ordinary old silver key. "The key to your heart?" she asked mawkishly in order to prompt his explanation.

"Close," Castle said, amused to note now similar Kate and Alexis's sense of humor was. "It's a key to the loft."

"Oh!" Kate looked down at the key again with new, wondrous eyes. "Wow. Thank you."

"Well, you showed me yours, I figured I'd should show you mine," he said teasingly.

Though she smiled, Kate was silent for a moment, absorbing the full weight of just how much her life was changing. When she thought of the childish man she was marrying, she knew he would make her life hell… _sometimes_… but he would mostly bring joy and love, romance and security. For those "hellish" times though, she would just have to dish it right back, now wouldn't she? She gave him a fierce look, the kind she got when she solved a crime before Castle figured it out. "You do know I'm going to have to get you back for teasing me all day, don't you?" There was such evil threat in her tone that Castle gulped. She rested her chin on her right hand and tapped her lower lip with a single fingertip, as she contemplatively hummed, "Hmm… now… what could I possibly do to totally and thoroughly mess with _your_ peace of mind?" Under the table, hidden by the cloth, she toed off her spiked heels and put her toes on Rick's leg, just at his ankle. Gently, slowly, she brushed her toes up and down his skin, gradually moving up his calf. "How could I get even for every time you stole my breath away from me today?" Her toes were at the inside of his knee now, inching higher. She leaned closer to him over the table, providing a small glimpse down the front of her low cut dress while she whispered, "I guess I'll just have to steal _your_ breath as thoroughly as you stole mine." Her foot flexed and her toes swept halfway up the inside of his thigh before retreating and slowly making its way back down to the floor.

When Kate's foot _finally_ settled- wrapped around his ankle and content to stay there now for the rest of their dinner- Rick abruptly gasped in the breath he had not realized he had forgotten to take. Kate caught the motion and smiled in wicked satisfaction, vindictively happy to have tampered with Rick's breathing patterns for once, seeing as how he had already stolen her breath several times that day.

Finally, the waiter arrived and Kate was impressed- and only very slightly disappointed- when Rick was able to order their dinner with perfect couth. No stammering, stuttering, gasping, _or_ rambling, just Castle and his perfectly charming manners. Well heck. Maybe she would have to wait until later tonight- when she spent the evening beside him in his bed- to find more effective ways of shutting up the annoying novelist.

Once the threat of a dinner time proposal had been addressed and removed, Kate was able to enjoy her meal and tease her partner with nothing more than their standard levels of (sexual) tension. Though at one point, Castle threatened, "Tonight may not be a good night for you to sleep over after all."

"Why not?" She asked while trying to hide her genuine disappointment.

"Because if you run your toes up my leg one more time or lean over the table again in that low-cut dress, I'll be forced to push you down on my bed as soon as I get you home and do things to you that you might not like," he threatened in a way that might have been menacing if his voice had not been low and husky with desire.

"Oh, I'll probably like it," she countered even as she removed her foot from around his ankle, slipped her shoes back on and sat up straighter. "But you're right. Tonight is not the time for that."

With some space between them now, he was able to think again. "No, I want you to talk to Alexis tonight."

Kate pulled a face and said, "Do I have to?"

Rick knew she was not complaining about the talking to Alexis part, but about the subject matter the women were going to discuss. It made Kate uncomfortable but they had both agreed that Alexis needed to know… _certain things_… about Kate and her relationship with the girl's father.

The ride home in the pretty, shiny car was more subdued and less heavy on the sexual tension that had permeated the air on the drive to the restaurant. Kate was no longer imagining undressing her driver but contemplating the coming conversation with… her _future step-daughter_. The thought made Kate swallow. Hard.

"You guys are home early," Alexis noted when the adults entered. "Were there not any good movies playing?"

"We wanted to watch a movie with _you_," Rick retorted while he hugged his daughter in greeting.

"Right," Kate agreed. Then she raised her overnight bag and gestured toward Rick's room. "I'm just going to go change really quickly."

Rick smiled at the way she fled the room but knew she would be back soon and he was to make himself scarce.

When Kate returned to the main room, Alexis was alone and her eyes widened in surprise when she saw Kate; that was _not_ the nightwear of a woman intent on seducing Alexis's famous father. Kate wore an oversized t-shirt and tight yet concealing leggings. Though, for her own peace of mind, Alexis had to admit that she was grateful Kate was not sauntering around the loft in something more revealing.

Kate went to the sitting area in front of the TV and Alexis followed, assuming they were all going to watch a movie together.

"What are we watching?" Alexis asked as she sat on the same couch as Kate.

Ignoring the remote, Kate settled back, curled her long body up on the couch and faced Alexis. "I don't know yet, but first… you and I need to have a talk."

A wave of apprehension swept through her and Alexis wanted to laugh; Kate was not her mother- she was not _anyone_'s mother for that matter- but she had that parental tone _down_ if she could affect Alexis just by threatening to "talk" to her. "About what?" Alexis finally asked when she reminded herself that she had not done anything to get herself in trouble. Especially not with Kate anyway.

"Apparently you've made some fallacious assumptions and _I'm _supposed to set the record straight." Kate did not sound too happy about it and Alexis assumed from her tone that Kate thought _Rick_ should be having this talk with his daughter.

"I don't know what you're talking about…" Alexis replied, trying to think of whatever assumptions she was supposed to have made that _Kate _would have any business correcting…

Kate had been wondering all evening how to talk to Alexis about this without embarrassing _both_ of them, but finally realized there was no good way but to be entirely candid. So finally, she simply blurted, "I'm a virgin." Despite her blush and Alexis's stunned- and possibly mortified- look, Kate continued. "I've never slept with your father, or any other man for that matter."

Alexis's mouth opened and closed a few times and Kate knew she wanted to ask questions but either could not figure out how to ask without causing offense- or embarrassment- or she was too stunned to get the words out. So she simply gasped "What?!" and waited for Kate's explanation.

"When I was nineteen, my mom tried to have 'The Talk' with me. To end the awkward conversation as quickly as I could, I made a rash promise I had little intention of actually keeping. After she died, barely a month later, I just kept hearing her words, 'When a Beckett makes a promise, she keeps it. I trust you Katie.'" She was silent for a while and by the glassy look in her eyes, Alexis knew she was no longer in the moment with her but lost in memories of her mother. Finally, Alexis put her hand on Kate's and those distant eyes finally focused on the redhead's sympathetic gaze. With a smile, Kate turned her hand over to return the comforting squeeze. "So I kept my promise to save myself for marriage."

Alexis nodded, but was still confused. When she could put the right words together she said, "I can appreciate how difficult this is for you to share with me but… why _are _you telling me?"

Kate laughed a little, "Well, partially to put you at ease about tonight. Rick mentioned that you were worried about seeing something none of us wants you to witness and I just wanted to assure you that that won't happen."

Alexis laughed too and when she realized her relief for that, she fervently said, "_Thank you_."

With a smile, Kate added, "Mostly though, I think your dad wants me to force a similar oath from you."

The redhead's porcelain skin quickly flamed in an embarrassed blush and Kate put her hands up to stop any reply the girl might have made.

"I don't want to know," Kate said simply; the last thing she wanted was to discuss the particulars of what either of them had experienced (or not, as it were) with men. Though she knew the kind of relationship she _wanted _to have with Alexis, it was too soon in their pseudo mother/daughter bond to be discussing particulars about Alexis's sex (or lack thereof) life. One day maybe, just not tonight and Kate hoped she was at least laying the foundation for that relationship by sharing things that were awkward for her to talk about. "But… your father is going to propose to me soon and I'm going to say yes. You and I are going to be family… if you want… and this was something I thought you should know about me. So you'd know how seriously I take my decision to share my life with you and your dad."

Alexis had no idea what to say to that. It was a lot to take in and there were so many things running through her mind that she could not think of anything to say- even to reassure Kate because Alexis had not missed the anxiety and hesitance when Kate equivocated about their being family. So she simply leaned forward and wrapped Kate in a happy hug. When the weight of the moment had passed and Alexis knew she could make a joke without causing hurt or offense, or appearing as if she was not taking the conversation as seriously as it deserved, she pulled back and gave a mischievous smile reminiscent of the elder Castle. "I don't think I _need_ to make an oath. I mean, if someone as gorgeous as _you_ can't get laid, there's no hope for _me_," Alexis said, her voice rather louder than necessary if she had simply been addressing Kate.

Her efforts were rewarded when Rick's girly shriek of "What!?" sounded from the other room. Both women laughed at him- he got what he deserved for eavesdropping on their conversation!- as he came out of his hiding place, pouting adorably. "_So_ not funny, little girl," Rick grumbled while he plopped himself down on the couch between his two women. Rick leaned back, stretching his arms out along the back of the couch while Kate leaned forward and retrieved the remote which she handed to Alexis. The girl chose the movie and all three settled in to watch together.

Friday night found them much the same, only this time Kate was in the middle with two Castles on either side of her. Rick was seated in the corner of the couch, his arm wrapped around Kate's shoulders and her body snuggled against his. Rick's angle was just perfect. From where he was seated, he could observe both Kate and Alexis and still make it look like he was focused on their rom-com chick flick even though, all night, he had not been able to take his eyes off of Kate. Every now and then she would smile as if she knew it too. Eventually he leaned closer to press a soft kiss to her temple and then watched as her smile widened.

Kate finally glanced at him and even that short look seemed to say to him, "I love you too," as if she knew exactly was he was thinking. When her eyes turned back to the movie, though not long enough that he had lost her undivided attention, Rick moved in to nuzzle her ear with his nose. Her hair on his face tickled, so he reached up and swept the tresses back before returning to her ear. His soft lips skated over her skin and Kate shivered in pleasure, which made Rick smile proudly

The second before he spoke, a small weight was placed on Kate's knee- a little black box. "Will you marry me?" Rick breathed against her ear, his voice so soft, any loud noises from the television would have obscured it.

But Kate heard him. She heard and she snapped her head around to look at him in surprise. Sure, she had known it was coming (and she knew what her response would be of course) but she had not been expecting _this_. This proposal was _not_ 'Richard Loves-To-Be-The-Center-Of-Attention Castle' by any means. For Kate, it was as close to perfect as she could have wanted it, but it was not big, showy, expensive _or_ obnoxious. Definitely not Castle's usual style. But for her… it was perfection and the happy tears quickly filling her eyes told him that he had gotten it right.

"Yes," she tried to say but when her voice failed her and she managed nothing more than a whisper, she nodded and tried again. "Yes." She surged forward and began kissing her… _fiancé._

It was as Kate twined her arms around Rick's neck that Alexis said, "Ew… guys! Teenage daughter in the room."

Though Kate ended their enthusiastic kiss, she was too happy to be embarrassed. As she turned to Alexis, Kate beamed happily and said, "Sorry, I couldn't help myself. Your father just proposed to me and I couldn't speak to say yes, so I kissed him instead."

Alexis's piercing shriek rent the air and seconds later she was launching her body at the adults. She was so happy, so excited, that she kissed Kate's cheek in congratulations… and then blushed. Kate laughed and hugged the teen back, returning the congratulatory peck.

Suddenly Alexis gasped, pulled away, said, "I'll be right back," and then ran for the kitchen.

When Alexis disappeared, Kate turned back to Rick. And when she found him smiling at her lovingly, the happy tears she had managed to hold back so far began to fall freely.

"I love you," Kate whispered, her throat constricted with deep emotion.

Rick smiled and said, "You dropped this." He offered her the velvet box again.

"I already have my ring," Kate pointed out in confusion, though now that she looked, it was much bigger than the boxes that usually held engagement rings.

Rick did not say anything, but he gave her a look and Kate clearly read it: _Do you really think I would propose to you without _something _shiny to offer you?_

Kate shook her head at him and in turn, Rick clearly read her unspoken response: _You should know better than to try to spoil me with jewelry. I won't be impressed._ That is, until she opened the box and gasped. Inside was a white gold bangle that matched her ring in style. Kate picked it up carefully and turned it until she found the first diamond sent into the metal, followed by a single word etched in cursive and another diamond. "Always," she read aloud, more happy years falling freely as she slipped the bracelet onto her wrist and studied it there.

"Wow, that's gorgeous!" Alexis commented as she came back to her seat at the couch. As she sat next to Kate, she set three crystal flutes on the coffee table and held a bottle of champagne out to her father.

Rick did not reach out to take the bottle; he simply turned incredulous eyes on his daughter.

So she rolled her eyes and said, "I'm seventeen years old, Daddy! I can handle _one_ glass of champagne. Plus, this is the last time you'll ever be engaged, so we have to have a toast."

Rick could not argue with _that_ logic, so he shrugged, finally took the bottle and worked to open it while Alexis handed out the glasses. When each one was full of slowly deflating foam, Alexis held her own glass aloft and the adults followed suit.

"I've never done this before, so bear with me, okay?" Alexis began and when the adults smiled in reply, she said, "To love and romance and two people who finally pulled their heads out of whatever dark place they'd been hiding and just admitted to what the rest of us have seen all along." Turning to smile at the older woman, Alexis directed the rest of her toast toward her future step-mother, "May you learn quickly the patience you'll need in order to put up with the three of us Castles. Welcome to the family, Kate!" Amid looks of humor, the three of them tapped their glasses carefully together and took a sip. Alexis though, smiled impishly over the rim of her cup and asked Kate, "Or should that be 'Mommy?'"

In reply, Kate swallowed awkwardly, some of the bubbles went up her nose and she began coughing painfully.

Though Alexis laughed, she put a soothing hand on Kate's upper back and rubbed until the coughing ceased. "I was just kidding. Sorry."

"You can-" cough- "Call me-" cough- "Whatever you want." Kate took a moment to catch her breath and clear her throat. "But I didn't think you would want to call me… that."

Alexis was about to say something- probably along the lines of how she had only been joking and even though she did love Kate, she just was not ready to call her mom so soon- but Rick cut in to ease the situation. "Why don't we table _this _conversation until _after_ Kate and I are married, okay?"

"Good idea," both women just happened to reply at the same time, making them all laugh. Again.

"Now finish up your champagne, Alexis-" Yes, he really did just say that to his usually-so-sensible, underage daughter, didn't he?- "and then go get ready for bed. We need to start planning this weekend because I want to have the wedding as soon as possible. We'll all need to get up early in the morning."

Alexis did as told and took a deep drink of her champagne then said, "You just want to get rid of me so you can… 'congratulate' your fiancé more thoroughly, don't you?"

"Ew!" Rick cried, not at the idea of kissing Kate- and more- but because his own innocent little girl was making jokes about it. "That's it. No more alcohol for you!" He reached out to take Alexis's near empty glass but she pulled away just in time, threw back the remaining contents and finished the last of the honey colored liquid. She then relinquished the empty cup to her father and headed up to bed.

When Kate and Rick were finally snuggled together in his bed- fully clothed and the bedroom door wide open to ensure they stayed that way- Kate tilted her head up to kiss her _fiancé_. Too soon, Castle broke their slowly deepening kiss and guided her head down to his shoulder which prompted a confused, incredulous sound from Kate.

"What?" Castle asked when he realized something was troubling her.

Kate did not raise her head to look at him, choosing instead to watch the rise and fall of his chest as she plucked at the folds and creases in his t-shirt. "I thought you'd want to… 'congratulate' me?"

"I'm going to tell you a story, okay?" He asked instead of answering directly and when Kate nodded, his tone took on the quality he sometimes got when he was setting the scene, spinning a theory for the enraptured audience of Detectives at the 12th. "A man- and you might call it vanity or narcissism, but I like to think of him as a loyal man, a good man- quietly stalks around a corner in a crowded warehouse, and sees a serial killer training a gun on a woman he has sworn to protect. It may have been an oath never uttered aloud, but she is his partner and it is there regardless, written on this man's heart. The rage this man feels as he takes aim with his own weapon resolves him to protect his partner by making the ultimate sacrifice we as human beings can make- the taking of another person's life. But this man, having never taken a life before (not literally anyway), blinks at the critical moment and merely succeeds in disarming his target, though we both know from past experience on the range that he is perfectly capable of hitting a much smaller target. But she is safe and no one need die now. Until the next time a dirt bag with a gun takes aim at her pretty head. This man would risk himself, would leap from any height to take down his target and pummel the hit man until they were both bleeding, one of them unconscious. The rage, the desire to kill the one threatening this woman, would be… _unimaginable_ unless you've actually experienced it. This desire to protect comes from a deeper place than fear or anger or even mere friendship. It comes from a heart willing to sacrifice anything in order to keep her safe and prove to her that he truly loves her. He would turn and walk away from her, relinquish her heart to another man if he thought that was what would make her happy. He would sacrifice his own happiness, and even his own physical pleasure, if that was what would be best for her."

Rick was silent then, waiting maybe for Kate to say something but she was too surprised by him to say anything. Part of her feared her own paltry words would detract from the moment, from the beautiful speech he had just given.

Sensing probably that she was either incapable of speaking or simply choosing not to, Rick reached up to brush some of her hair off her face and asked, "Do you understand some of what I am trying to tell you?"

"I think so," she whispered hesitantly, sure of the truth behind his words but surprised still that he felt them.

"I _want_ you to keep your promise to your mother because I know how much it means to you. I know what _she_ means to you. So I can wait. I don't _have_ to sleep with you now. I don't have to fool around with you now because soon we'll be married and there will be nothing standing between us. I would hate to begin our lives together by helping you break a promise you made to your mother."

"Love is patient," Kate summed up, her way of agreeing and letting him know that she understood what he was trying to say. Then she smiled softly and whispered, "I love you too."

Finally, Rick pulled her into his embrace and held her close while they both settled in to go to sleep. He had to tell her one more thing though. "Believe me, I look forward in keen anticipation to the day we can _finally_…" his mind went to many happy places then, but figured it would definitely be a bad idea to push his resolve and even allude to any of them. So he began again. "Though intellectually, I believe wholeheartedly in everything I just said, physiologically, you are still the most beautiful thing I have ever held in my arms and I _will_ let my body persuade my mind if we attempted to do anything tonight more than sleep."

Kate nodded her head in understanding but she was already drifting to sleep, secure in his reassurances and his arms and lulled by the deep bass rumble of his voice.

Eventually taking note of her ebbing consciousness, Rick too settled into the peaceful calm of falling slowly to sleep wrapped in the arms of the one person he loved more than any other (unless you counted Martha and Alexis, but those were a different kinds of love).


End file.
